Here’s the story…
The people have spoken. Hornby Islanders have voted unanimously to rename Denman Island to Jan Brady Island following a raucous town hall meeting. “We’ve always been Marsha, everybody loves us and wants to be like us”, said longtime Hornby resident Zenovia Wickerchair Thompson. “We’re prettier and more popular, always have been, always will be. It’s about time Denman just accepted it”.
As the final results were read a group of four men who were living all together (although unconfirmed sources say they were all alone) stood draped in possum skins while repeatedly beating their walking stickings against makeshift shields chanting “Marsha Marsha Marsha!!”
These sentiments were echoed by Penelope Nutloaf, who runs a $900 dollar per night B & B out of a diapitated tool shed on her property. “People only use Denman to get to us, nobody likes them and all they ever do over there is whine about stuff like how much they want to be like us and other stuff”. “This is long overdue”, she added, “I’ve lived on Hornby for over forty years and have raised three very lovely girls, all with hair of gold, just like their mother”.
Denman Island Mayor Frowzy Frazzlebottom was unavailable for comment as he was busy with three boys of his own.
