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It wasn’t a moth

Gabriel Jeroschewitz, April 17th,  2026,

 It wasn’t a moth.

 The rain upon the windowpane of the third-floor office was a steady, rhythmic percussion, a gray clock signalling the slow passage of a dull Tuesday afternoon. Dr. Aris Thorn sat behind his mahogany desk, the fragrance of vintage paper and Earl Grey tea drifting in the air. He was listening to his patient, Elara, speak of a recurring dream, but his attention was drifting toward the window, where a storm was gathering strength.

Elaras voice was soft, trembling gently as she narrated the imagery that had plagued her sleep for the past week.

“It was a bird,” she said, her fingers twisting the hem of her pullover. “Not just any bird. A crow. But it was heavy, Aris. It felt like it was made of lead. It sat on the roof of my youth residence, and it wouldn’t fly away. It just watched the front door with one glassy eye.”

Aris nodded, making a note on his pad. Bird. Weight. Omen.

“And when you woke up?” he inquired softly.

“I experienced a crushing feeling of fear,” Elara admitted. “Like the air had been sucked out of the room. And then, yesterday, I saw it.”

“Saw the crow?”

“No. I saw the omen,” she corrected, her eyes growing wide. “I was walking past the antique shop on 4th Street, and in the window display, there was a taxidermied crow, exactly like the one in my dream. It was posed on a branch, but the glass eye… it was the same. I hesitated on the sidewalk. I couldn’t breathe.”

Aris leaned back in his chair. He was a man of science, of cause and effect, yet he had read Jung. He knew the concept of synchronicity—that acausal connecting principle. He knew that sometimes the universe did not move in straight lines but in loops, folding over itself in deliberate coincidences.

“That is a powerful image, Elara,” Aris said. “Jung might say your unconscious was preparing you for a confrontation with mortality or a crucial transition.”

“But it felt like a warning,” she uttered quietly.

As Elara herself spoke, Aris found his gaze drawn back to the window. A small, dark shape was fluttering against the glass. A moth, perhaps, or a fly seeking shelter from the rain. It knocked rhythmically, a tiny percussion against the pane.

“Transitions are often frightening,” Aris replied, trying to refocus. “The scarab beetle, for instance, in Jungs famous case—a symbol of rebirth, yet appearing literally in the room at the exact moment the patient described it.”

Elara shivered. “Do you think the universe sends signs?”

“I think,” Aris said deliberately, “that the unconscious is vast. It perceives things outside our linear perception of time. Sometimes, a thought matches an event, and the coincidence creates meaning.”

The tapping at the window became louder. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Aris finally turned his head fully toward the glass. The rain had obscured the view, but through a clear streak where the water ran down, he saw the creature clearly.

It wasn’t a moth.

It was a beetle. Large, iridescent, its shell shimmering with an oil-slick sheen of green and purple against the dull gray afternoon. It was pressing hard against the glass, trying to push through the invisible barrier into the warm feeling of the office.

Aris perceived a sudden, sharp intake of breath.

He had been reading Jungs essay on synchronicity just that morning, specifically the passage about the scarab beetle—the symbol of transformation that had appeared at the very moment his patient was describing her dream of the same creature.

And here was a beetle, not a scarab specifically, but the archetype was the same: a hard-shelled creature seeking entry, seeking transformation from the larva of the moist ground to the winged adult.

“Dr. Thorne?”

Elaras voice pulled him back. She was looking at him, then following his gaze to the window.

“Oh,” she said, her voice softening to a soft tone. “A beetle.”

“Yes,” Aris said, his heart beating against his ribs. “It seems the universe is insisting on the theme of transformation today.”

He stood up and walked to the window. The beetle was persistent, its legs scrabbling against the glass. Aris unlocked the latch and slid the window open an inch—the sound of the rain rushed in—cold, fresh, and smelling of ozone. The beetle tumbled over the sill and onto the oak floorboards of the office.

It righted itself instantly, its antennae vibrating as it explored this new territory.

Aris crouched down, watching it. It was advancing with intent, a tiny, armoured tank crossing the rug’s landscape.

“Its not a scarab,” Aris murmured, half to himself, half to the memory of Jung. “But the timing…”

He looked at Elara. She was staring at the beetle, her fear momentarily replaced by curiosity.

“Its strange,” she uttered softly. “I was terrified of the crow, the heavy bird. But this… this feels different. Its not heavy. Its… persistent.”

Aris watched the beetle pause near the leg of his desk. It was an entity of the earth, emerging into the air, seeking the light of the window.

“Jung believed that when an unconscious image rises to the surface,” Aris said, standing up slowly, “and coincides with an objective event, its a message. A bridge between the psyche and the physical world.”

He motioned to the beetle. “You referred to a transition. Of a heavy bird that couldn’t fly. And here, a creature that can fly—or at least, has wings underneath its shell—arrives at the exact moment you describe your fear.”

Elara viewed from the beetle to Aris. “So, the crow was the fear of the transition, and the beetle…?”

“The beetle is the transition itself,” Aris suggested. “Hard armour protecting soft wings. Moving from the dark earth to the open air.”

The beetle reached the center of the room and stopped. It seemed to orient itself, its head turning as if surveying the space. Then, with a sudden, audible buzz, it extended its wing cases. Underneath, delicate, membranous wings vibrated, lifting the heavy body from the floor.

It circled once, a lazy, spiralling ascent, passing between the two humans, a mute observer in the therapy room. It flew directly toward the open window, maneuvering the air currents with invisible precision.

It didn’t hesitate. It flew out into the rain, disappearing into the gray mist.

Aris stood near the window, watching the vacant spot where the beetle had been. The rain was slowing, the light shifting as the storm moved east.

He turned back towards Elara. The apprehension that had knotted her shoulders seemed to have loosened. She was sitting upright, her hands resting palms-down on her knees.

“I don’t feel the weight anymore,” she uttered softly, a look of wonder on her face. “The crow… Its gone.”

Aris returned to his chair. He didn’t have to analyze the moment further. The coincidence had done the work. The unconscious image—the heavy bird—had met the objective reality—the ascending beetle. The tension of the opposites had resolved.

“It wasn’t a cause and effect,” Aris said, settling back into his leather chair, the leather creaking softly. “The beetle didn’t fly in because you dreamed of the crow. But they met here, in this moment, to create a meaning that neither could create alone.”

Elara smiled with a genuine, relieved expression. “Synchronicity.”

“Yes,” Aris said. “A meaningful coincidence. The universe mirroring the psyche, reminding us that we are not separate from the world, but woven into it.”

The room was quiet again, save for the ticking of the clock and the receding sound of the rain. The space where the beetle had landed was empty, but the air felt charged, as if the barrier between the inner and outer worlds had thinned, just for a moment, allowing something primeval and symbolic to pass through.

Cupcakes & Cow Pies

They Are Building A UFC Arena On The White House Lawn

CAITLIN JOHNSTONE

MAY 27

They are building a UFC arena
on the White House lawn,
because the world has gone insane,
and there are chatbots in our skulls,
and our eyes have been crossed out
with black ink.

They are building a UFC arena
on the White House lawn
so the president can watch men fight in a cage
while the Paramount Plus audience
watches military recruitment ads
that are marketed to teenagers
and a podcast plutocrat
interviews men with bloody hands
as shame-soaked survivors
sleep on the sidewalk
in Washington DC,

as Cuban parents light a candle
and skip another meal,

as Lebanese medics
die in double-tap airstrikes,

as billionaires cackle
about stripping all human knowledge
and selling it back to us
as a subscription service,

as we shovel fistfuls of mood stabilizers
down our gullets
to keep us functional enough
to turn the gears of industry,

as we sit in dark rooms
with flashing screens and dead eyes
while silverfish crawl all over us,

as women hold loaded pistols
to their heads on camera
to pleasure men who have concrete
in their chests,

as The Last Good Thing on the Internet
gets purchased by Google
and turned into military software
where it will be used
to train weaponized robot dogs
to rape prisoners in IDF torture camps,

as forgotten godlings awaken within us
to sharpen our teeth and our blades,

as Nature returns
wearing a necklace of wet skulls
to reclaim all that was stolen from Her,

as the blood on the Octagon canvas
mixes
with the blood of the Muslim martyrs.

They are building a UFC arena
on the White House lawn
so the president can watch men fight in a cage
from the comfort of his home
on his birthday.

He does not know
about the strange beasts
stirring with in us.

He does not know
about the sharpening blades.

long words

#1737

Out of the Blue

 

Out of the Blue

Dear Islander:

You are warmly invited to a ‘Wedding of Wonder’

Octopus Marries the Ocean Denman World Ocean Day Celebration

Sunday June 7th at Fillongley 10:30 am-noon

Please join us! Who is getting married? You will never see a wedding like this!

At 10:30, we will start our procession in the upper meadow at Filongley Park. We will wend our way down the path to the shore for a magical ceremony by the sea. Children of all ages are most welcome!

The Fourtune Cookies will chant us down the path, guided by Bridget Salas and dancers and a myriad of wonderful creatures, including a Water Dragon named Queen Vaporia, created by Cathy Stoyko. You might get to carry a celebratory fish on a stick (made by the students at the Denman School), or a wind chime (crafted by Kathy Rapati). Other costume creators include Helen Mason, Kerri Davis, Liz Johnston, Slug and Jean Cockburn.

As esteemed guests, you can join in the procession, or wait for us at the shore. We will all meet there and stand or sit in wedding chairs to witness and celebrate, laugh and cry at this Wedding of Wonder. We will enjoy music by Randy Duncan, more songs by the Fourtune Cookies, dance and spoken word, all culminating in the sacred exchange of vows. Jennifer Lee and Lee Andra Jacobs will officiate the wedding.

We are called to protect Octopus and Ocean and all they share. Pollution, warming, acidification and overfishing, all adversely affect this sacred union. This event is listed on the World Ocean Day site, and we unite in spirit with events that are happening at the same time, all around the world.

The wedding couple requests no gifts. Donations will be welcome and transferred to ADIMS (Assoc for Denman Island Marine Stewards).

Parking at Filongley Park is limited, so you may need to park on the street or you may choose to walk in or cycle there. We will have attendants to help direct you.

Shucking Oysters: Crisis Management

Shucking Oysters: Crisis Management

By Alex Allen

Is it really a crisis getting old? Traditionally, the midlife crisis for men is pretty cliché: you hit your 50s, realize you’re not young anymore, go buy a corvette, leave your significant other, and do something to prove you’re still young at heart. It’s really a mixed bag for everyone.

The term midlife was first coined by Canadian-born psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques in 1965. He described it as: “The compulsive attempts, in many men and women reaching middle age, to remain young, the hypochondriacal concern over health and appearance, the emergence of sexual promiscuity in order to prove youth and potency, the hollowness and lack of genuine enjoyment of life, and the frequency of religious concern, are familiar patterns. They are attempts at a race against time.”

The key to whether we experience a crisis in middle age I believe is really down to what we feel we are supposed to have achieved by this point, and what our potential can achieve later. If we feel we’ve reached the pinnacle of our lives now, the rest of it may very well look a bit bleak. But what if the best of us is yet to come? 

Perhaps the most public midlife crisis is that of Jeff Bezos. The usual MO. Had an affair, left his wife, shaved his head, got pumped up, married a Boobtox queen and took up a few luxurious hobbies, like sailing and outer space. Aging with absurd wealth brings its own weird optics. As Zoe De Leon wrote, “The inhumanly smooth and shiny result of Bezos’ midlife re-brand isn’t ageless so much as surgically suspended. That’s because Bezos isn’t chasing timelessness – he’s buying time.” Another public midlife crisis: 58-year-old Keith Urban. Had an affair, walked away from his 19-year marriage to Nicole Kidman, fired his band of 25 years, and moved in with a 26-year-old rising country star. Meanwhile, 62-year-old Brad Pitt, now dating a 33-year-old said recently: “You get older, you get crankier, and comfort becomes more important. I think it’s as simple as that.”

Research suggests that “midlife” is more a state of mind than a specific age. We have crises at every stage of our lives, apparently. While the timeline for a midlife crisis is fuzzy, many people experience some level of restlessness, regret, or re-evaluation at some point in their lives. We’re not supposed to have it all figured out by midlife. It’s OK to change, to try something new, to want more. It’s not the end of something – it’s the beginning. It can be an opportunity to either panic about where we are or to pause and reflect.

For many, the crisis isn’t about staying young, it’s about a fear of the future. As most of us live longer, and chase our youth ever more frantically, the question of how to manage that “presumed midpoint” just becomes more urgent. Psychotherapist Frank Tallis and author of Wise: Finding Purpose, Meaning and Wisdom Beyond the Midpoint of Life says things begin to change when we “shift into a time when the goals are not quite so clear, when they have been achieved or clearly missed, and when mortality, in the form of aging bodies, dying parents, illness, becomes harder to ignore.” Everyone needs their methods of “terror management” – the problem arises when those methods are “too flimsy, too excessive, too narrow, or in some other way unfit for purpose.” 

I haven’t left my partner, got a sports car, or started going to the gym yet. But I did get a sweet sailboat and jokingly called her my mistress. The irony is that my back and knee can’t handle climbing in and out and my hands are so compromised from wear and tear that I am challenged with doing anything on the boat. I wouldn’t call this a midlife crisis, but it’s painfully turning into that. My options are limited, but my inner child is not willing to let go – yet. 

Most if not all of midlife crisis literature is on the male experience, but women experience it too. And it’s not menopause it seems, it’s taking a pause from men. “I lost 50 lbs, an alcoholic husband, got a new career, and stopped living for everyone else.” “For me it was 10 lbs, a narcissist husband, and took control back of my friendships and love of travel.” Where once women often stayed in unhappy marriages, more and more are walking away. 

Society still tells women that essentially once they are no longer in the prime of their supposedly fertile years then they don’t matter anymore. In a podcast, Myths About Women in Midlife, Kara Loewentheil noted: “One of the things I hear middle aged women often say is that they feel invisible. Which is also just fascinating because it’s often based on things like I don’t get sexually harassed on the street by construction workers anymore. Which is like the idea that what we have done to women’s brains is teach them that being visible and valuable is indicated by being sexually harassed. And that if that’s not happening you are therefore invisible in a bad way.”

Research shows the traditional midlife crisis is largely a cultural myth. Only about 1 in 10 people experience anything resembling a true crisis, and studies indicate most adults actually experience increased happiness, stability, and emotional regulation in their 40s and 50s.

Trevor O’Hara of Interlude Cafe wrote that many psychologists now prefer terms like “midlife transition” or “midlife evaluation” to reflect the more balanced reality that aging brings. If we focus on the opportunities, midlife can become less about chasing our lost youth and more about reinventing ourselves. Forget the sports car; try pickle ball. It’s not a crisis it’s just a flippant excuse for impulsive behaviour. 

The Book Report

The Book Report By A Bae Hel

 

Bear

By Julia Phillips

 

Do children still read fairy tales? The Disney-fication has certainly altered much of the original messaging, but the magic and hero’s journey of fairy tales remain. 

Rose Red and Snow White (no relation to the one with the 7 dwarves) is the tale of two poor but happy sisters and their mother living in the woods. The girls are of course unfailingly kind and devoted to each other, and one night a bear knocks on their door seeking shelter. Being such kind girls, they befriend the bear and ultimately the magic spell is broken and the bear turned prince marries one of the girls and his brother the other and everyone lives happy ever after. 

Bear, is a tale of two poor sisters and their very ill mother living in a house in the forest on a San Juan island. The girls work fairly menial jobs and have no future out on the island, taking care of their mother and trying to get through the days. One day a bear shows up on their doorstep. What follows is a tale of how fantasy can become the glue that holds you in place and together. Until it doesn’t any more.  The writing is delicious. We are given more of the inner life of the one sister, Sam, and glimpses of the other through the eyes of Sam. Her inner world is rich in an imagined future based on adolescent dreams of escape. Her teenage self absorption has grown into an adult resentment of everything and everyone except her mother and sister. Her sister’s world however is grounded in the back breaking responsibility of their lives. The bear steps into this disconnection between the two sisters’ reality; the childhood magic and the utter banality of existence.  The bear forces the journey out of childhood.

This is a short novel, recently published (2024) and I consumed it over two days. A strong recommendation, especially if you were a heavy fairy tale reader. 

The Inevitable Ruin

Book 7 Dungeon Crawler

 

The Syndicate Powers have pitched 9 alien armies against the crawlers. The alien war lords pay for the privilege of entering the war and trying to capture and hold the castle. The crawlers of course, are just trying to survive another floor. The AI has escaped the controls and is the biggest threat to all life. Maybe. It’s complicated.

Each book in the series I read I am in awe at the ability to create such a complicated world. There must be flow charts on his walls to keep it all straight. Carl has developed into a complex character and even Donut the cat has some layers. Burn it all down seems like a reasonable life strategy given a world where you are subject to continual lies, cheats and indignities. Carl is the leader we need for the revolution we want.

Again, lots of gore, (his imagination for gore is also awe inspiring and more than a little disturbing) and may not be suitable for young children, but the series is very good reading and hasn’t gotten stale yet.

The Carbon Capture Deception

The Carbon Capture Deception  By Cylon2036  We/Us

Canadas carbon capture strategy is built on a contradiction so large it is merely political performance art, as the Mark Carney Liberal government claims it is fighting climate change while simultaneously transferring billions of public dollars to the very fossil fuel corporations driving the crisis. While encouraging the oil and gas sector to increase production, Ottawa has chosen to subsidize a technological fantasy that allows the industry to promise net zero.”

Carbon capture and storage (CCS) has existed for decades, yet it remains enormously expensive, energy intensive, and chronically ineffective. Around the world, flagship CCS projects have repeatedly failed to meet their targets, captured only fractions of projected emissions, or quietly depended on further oil extraction to remain economically viable. In many cases, captured carbon is used for enhanced oil recovery,” where CO is injected underground to extract even more oil, an absurd cycle in which emissions are supposedly solved by producing additional fossil fuels.

The deeper problem is structural. Carbon capture does not address the central reality of the climate crisis, that fossil fuel consumption itself must decline. CCS merely attempts to clean up part of the pollution after extraction, refining, transport, and combustion continue largely unchanged. It functions less as a climate solution than as an insurance policy for the petroleum industrys political survival.

Canadas plan is especially dubious because the countrys emissions profile is heavily tied to the oil sands, among the most carbon-intensive extraction projects on Earth. Capturing emissions at one stage of production does nothing about the vastly larger emissions released when the exported fuel is ultimately refined and burned. The accounting tricks may satisfy corporate sustainability reports, but the atmosphere is indifferent to public relations.

There is also the question of opportunity cost. Every billion dollars directed toward CCS is a billion not spent on electrifying public transit, electrical grid modernization, building retrofits, renewable energy infrastructure, and importantly, a just transition for workers. Governments routinely insist there is limited money available for housing, healthcare, or social programs, yet limitless public funding appears whenever multinational oil companies request technological and other subsidies.

The political appeal of carbon capture is obvious: it promises painless climate action without confronting consumption, corporate power, or economic dependency on fossil fuels. It reassures investors, calms anxious politicians, and allows governments to claim environmental leadership while avoiding direct conflict with one of the countrys most powerful industries.

But physics is not negotiable. A climate strategy centered on preserving oil expansion while hoping future technology will neutralize the consequences is not a transition plan. It is a delay tactic dressed up as innovation. And delay, in the context of climate change, is its own form of failure.