Shucking Oysters: Operation Epic Fury
By Alex Allen
Was it to stop an Iranian attack? To join in an Israeli attack? To kill the Iranian regime? To punish Iran for failing to give in to the US? To make Iran Great Again? Or the original justification to stop an Iranian nuclear bomb? This is the erratic action of the “Peace President” who feels alive only in a state of chaos.
Trump did admit that the attack, which was not approved by Congress or has little support from Americans, will mean that “lives of courageous American heroes may be lost, and we may have casualties.” And for the challenged, “That often happens in war,” Trump helpfully explained. The president also made a direct call for the Iranian people to “seize control of your destiny” and “take over your government” once the US has finished bombing it. “It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for generations,” Trump said.
It’s so Donald to do this in the middle of the night. It appears that Israel started bombing Iran around 1:30 am EST, and US forces joined in 30 minutes later. That’s 10:00 am Tehran time when everyone is going about their business. “Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian regime, a vicious group of very hard, terrible people,” Trump posted at 2:30 am. Later, addressing the “proud people of Iran,” he said that “the hour of your freedom is at hand … When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take.”
But why now, and in this way? Michael Tomasky wrote in the New Republic, “I’m not in Trump’s brain, but having regrettably spent numberless hours this last decade trying to plumb that brain’s mouldy depths, I hazard the educated guess that he wanted to make the whole thing as outrageous to normal opinion as he could.” That is, he knows the people who support him will back whatever he does whenever he does it – he can always count on that.
The sheer audacity is that while Trump launched a full out war with Iran he was schmoozing at an extravagant gala at his Mar-a-Lago club. The black-tie event was hosted on the fateful Friday evening by the Palm Beach-based nonprofit Place of Hope, which describes itself as a “faith-based” organization “providing care for children and families in South Florida.”
It was a night of auctions and raffles, both silent and live. Raffles included a $4,000 Cruise on the Fly, an $8,750 African Plains Exploration, a $30,000 Ernst Benze custom watch and a $6,400 Blow Up a Car moment. That’s right the winner will enjoy an unforgettable private shooting experience highlighted by a thrilling target car shoot featuring machine guns and a Barrett fifty calibre rifle.
The items for auction said it all. At a value of $45,200, Legacy in Leadership. It’s as if Melania wrote the descriptive words. This collection consists of a one-ounce gold coin and two original oil-on canvas paintings, “united by a shared exploration of leadership, conviction, and defining moments in modern American history.” The first painting presents Trump and Charlie Kirk alongside the blindfolded Lady of Justice, “symbolizing a nation suspended between ideology, law, and moral consequence. The composition invites reflection on accountability, authority, and the tension between principle and power within the American justice system.” The second painting features Charlie Kirk with his fist raised, “set against a storm of fractured colour and gold,” reflecting the “cultural turbulence and ideological conflict, framing speech, belief, and leadership as acts of resistance.”
Other auction items: the $8,500 Trump “Dark MAGA Edition” Prestige Colt 45, with 24-karat gold accents, featuring detailed engravings of President Trump. Or perhaps the 24-karat gold $8,500 Trump Gold Signature Engraved Colt 45. It “commemorates a significant moment in modern American history,” and includes engravings of President Trump, the phrase “Fight Fight Fight,” with a “raised fist symbolizing perseverance following the attempt on his life, all meticulously rendered to create a powerful and cohesive presentation.” Another auction item valued at $6,000 and donated by Laura and Eric Trump, two guests can attend the New Year’s Eve gala at Mar-a-Lago.
There’s a theme with the sponsors. Either they are investment companies, family foundations or all about improving your looks. One Gold sponsor of the event stood out, Dr. Nicholas Perricone, an American dermatologist and author of such books as Forever Young: The Science of Nutrigenomics for Glowing, Wrinkle-Free Skin and Radiant Health at Every Age. Fun fact: He opposes the use of Botox. Other sponsors: Dr. Christopher Olenek of Aesthetics and Longevity, Diamante Medical Skin Care and some dental conglomerate.
The black-tie event was chaired by Marla Paxson, her daughter Nicole Paxson, and Dr. Arghavan Welch. Backstory, Marla’s first husband was Lowell W. “Bud” Paxson, founder of the Home Shopping Network in the 80s, who’s worth was nearly $70 million when he sold his stock in 1990. Paxson then created Paxson Communications, with TV stations, AM and FM radio stations and broadcasting rights for local football games. While his broadcasting success has made him rich enough to afford a Palm Beach mansion, it also allowed him to enter less-material pursuits, such as financially supporting the spread of Christian messages through his Christian Network.
And the other chair of this extravagant gala, Dr. Arghavan Welch. Welch and her team at the “state-of-the-art boutique” Palm Beach Gardens Orthodontist reassuringly share that “here, you’ll always be known by name.” And not only is Dr. Welch a member of the American Association of Orthodontists and American Dental Association, she is bilingual in English and Farsi. Farsi is the language spoken by over 57 million speakers in Iran. Did she not see the irony?
Prime Minister Carney’s response has drawn a lot of criticism. I see a more nuanced reaction: “Canada supports the United States acting to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon and to prevent its regime from further threatening international peace and security.” As Thomas Juneau, a professor at the University of Ottawa’s graduate school of public and international affairs, criticizing the American actions wouldn’t have had an impact on the conflict but it could have hurt Canada’s position with Trump. “For Canada to oppose, to lecture on human rights or on international law would have been costly in the sense that we know that Trump remembers this stuff,” Juneau added.
“This is not Iraq. This is not endless,” helmet-head Hegseth said at a press conference after the weekend. “We fight to win, and we don’t waste time or lives.” Say that to the parents of the 165 girls attending elementary school who were bombed and killed by one of the strikes all “for their hour of freedom.”
