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Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Shucking Oysters: Selling Your Soul

Shucking Oysters: Selling Your Soul

By Alex Allen

Celebrities have always been around. We used to call them musical artists. Movie stars. Politicians. Newscasters. Models. Poet Laureates. Philosophers. The print media followed their every move and we devoured every morsel, from Silver Screen and Movie Star magazines to People and Vanity Fair. We humans need someone to follow and worship. 

Famous faces have always had a way of grabbing our attention. And then a moment of brilliance, celebrity endorsements. Who wouldn’t want to have Gordon Ramsay’s HexClad hybrid nonstick 7-Inch frying pan? Or be “toasty warm” in Reba McEntire’s battery-operated Ororo heated vest? For decades, brands have been using famous faces as a means of advertising. But there has been a huge shift, with brands turning their focus to influencer marketing. Now we all can be worshipped; we can all be an “influencing” celebrity. Find your niche. Vegan Photography. Oyster Baiting. 

Except, the tides have changed lately. Instead of being adored and mimicked, many are being vilified and abandoned for their utter crassness. Not only are people sick of being made to feel bad about themselves by those who, more likely than not, have more sordid lives than the average person, the greatest currency in media today is authenticity. As Chadwick Moore recently wrote, “Social media audiences haven’t only caught on to rented Birkin bags and phony housewives agonizing over, say, their child’s artisanal packed lunch featuring a gold-dusted bento box, political influencers are feeling the backlash, too.” 

From their distasteful antics, these narcissistic rude people do seem to go out of their way to advertise their stupidity – it appears that there is little they won’t do for a few likes on Instagram. Instagrammer Natalie Schlater posted a picture of herself in a bikini in front of a rice paddy, just like her other uploads. But it was the caption that caused an uproar: “Thinking about how different my life is from the man picking in the rice field every morning.” Wow. Schlater came across as shallow and entitled but she claims that the whole thing was a “big misunderstanding.” As Moore, added, “Perhaps if these influencers didn’t feel the need to accompany these ‘deep and meaningful’ thoughts with pictures of their asses, people might not find them quite so ridiculous.”

Society has a way of reining in bad influencers, however, and the current trend of “shaming” those who go too far seems to be working. How low can the bar of an Instagram influencer’s self-obsession go? For many online creators, however, negative attention, can also get them more likes. You can grow a career out of enraging viewers and many creators have reached huge audiences by doing just that: being extremely controversial. 

A 2023 survey found 56% of Generation Zeds wanted to pursue influencing as a career. Compare that with another study where the same number of Chinese kids considered being an astronaut as their dream job. Influencers shamelessly promote unnecessary products in exchange for $$$, perpetuating a culture of mindless consumerism that’s destroying our planet. With every sponsored post, they’re basically saying, “Hey, buy this crap you don’t need, because I got paid to tell you to!” “Just sitting here being a beigeomaniac with my @imago_a Plis tote & happy to share my -20% code SISSY20…”

These so-called influencers may have thousands, even millions of followers, but how many genuine connections can one person really have? Do they care about their “fans”? Or the number of followers that boost their ego and their bank accounts? It’s all about who has the biggest following, not who has the most skill or knowledge. Their success is built on botox and luck, not hard work and merit. Yet, they all seem to act like they’re entitled to the fame and fortune they’ve stumbled on to. 

Influencers are the epitome of narcissism (think Meghan Markle). Their posts scream “look at me, look at what I’m doing, look at what I’m wearing!” They also tap into people’s deepest insecurities, making them feel like they’re missing out if they don’t have the latest products or experiences they’re blatantly pushing. 

Remember when friendships were based on shared experiences and trust? Well, not anymore. Now it’s all about networking and leveraging connections for personal gain. Influencers have turned human relationships into commodities. It’s about flashy cars, luxury vacations, and designer clothes – a hedonistic lifestyle that’s unsustainable and sad.

One individual on Reddit, eloquently commented, “With every vapid post, they’re contributing to the collective dumbing down of our society. Instead of promoting critical thinking, self-improvement, or meaningful content, they’re just adding to the mindless noise we’re all drowning in.” They’re the embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the hedonistic, consumer-driven society we’ve become. 

Another had issues with the term influencer. “Like bro you literally sit in your bedroom all day and dance to copyrighted music on TikTok, what are you influencing people to do? You literally make fake prank videos or vlogs flexing how rich you are, again, what are you influencing people to do? We glorify the biggest idiots on the planet and then proceed to call them influencers. Real influencers are people like activists, actors, musicians, athletes, and artists. Not some annoying person in their teens or 20s doing dumb shit on the Internet for clout or playing video games all day.”

 

No matter how you look at them, they are get-rich-quick schemes so many are hoping to get in on. Micro versions of being a Kardashian. That’s right! You too can be useless and make money inspiring people to be useless while making money!

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