Surprise. It’s not the kids you should be worrying about being pot heads; it’s the grandparents. Seniors are among the fastest-growing age group in Canada for using cannabis. A StatsCan report found that more than 400,000 seniors reported using cannabis in 2019, up from 40,000 seniors in 2012. I’m sure the numbers are a lot higher – who wants to admit that you’re a stoner in your late 70s.
The most noted geriatric pothead is Willie Nelson, famous for his public love for ganja and his unpretentious music. Nelson, at 91, just released “Last Leaf on the Tree,” his 76th solo studio album and 153rd album in total. He and his partner have also recently released “Willie and Annie Nelson’s Cannabis Cookbook.” From reading the reviews, it sounds like they were baked compiling the cookbook. One reviewer wrote that the recipes could be better organized, “freewheeling sequencing that places squid ink paella directly after bourbon pecan bars.”
But getting high is not all euphoria and munchies. A 2022 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that three provinces – Alberta, BC and Ontario – saw twice the increase in geriatric hospitalizations after edibles were legalized. One reason for the increase in ER visits is the potency of THC today. Another is that edibles take longer to kick in compared to having a toke or two, which leads to “dose stacking.” Hhhmmm…Maybe I’ll have one more…And then…whoa.
Marijuana popularity is nothing to wheeze at. In 2022, the annual sales of recreational cannabis through provincial retail outlets in Canada was $4.5 billion. No surprise that flower is the most popular item. In BC we currently have 375 licensed private retail stores, plus 30 government cannabis stores, and growing weekly. Our neighbours, Courtenay and Comox have six cannabis shops each. One, the Comox Valley Cannabis Company, with over 400 products in stock, could be a day trip, in more ways than one.
Every dispensary has a different mood and groove depending on what kind of customer you are. Trendy? Narcissistic? Inspired Cannabis Boutique in Vancouver is for you. The flagship House of Brands boutique boasts a 2,400 square foot “immersive gallery space where leading brands bring their products to life in a creative way.” Or perhaps, if you like to shop for pot like you’re shoe shopping, the Seed & Stone cannabis boutique will appeal to your carnal ways. “Oooh, look at the Tangerine Dream buds on the pedestal. Can I smell?”
Dispensary names range from the clever to the whimsical: High5 Cannabis in Armstrong; Happy Isle Cannabis Company on Bowen Island; Dazed Cannabis in Kamloops; High Score in Kelowna; My Buddies in Merritt; Daily Bud in Nanaimo; The Potorium in Nelson; Revelsmoke in Revelstoke; Weed Mart in Pouce Coupe; Weed Be Delighted in Slocan; Up in Smoke in Vancouver and honourable mention, It’s 420 Somewhere Cannabis Company in Nimpo Lake. Now that would be a road trip.
Visitors to Hornby often ask if we have a dispensary. I reply with benign sincerity, “yeah, on every block.” If we did have an actual commercial dispensary, we’d have the clever and whimsical covered. Naturally HI. HIjuana. HI 5. I really could go on. HI Bud. HI Times. HI Ho. HI Way.
It’s a good thing getting a marijuana high is just getting a marijuana high, and not making another part of your body get high. We’d have to book appointments months ahead just to get through the front door. Instead of names like Unicorn Poop and Mango Cake we’d get Horny Goat Weed (a common ingredient in male enhancement pills) and Ashswagman (a play on another ingredient, ashwagandha).
Humans are not the only ones to get the munchies after getting stoned. For nematodes, better known as round worms, cannabinoids amplified their “existing preferences for calorically dense, palatable food sources, a phenomenon called hedonic amplification of feeding.” In other words, eating for sheer pleasure.
Fish can get the munchies as well. In 2017, Lebanese researchers decided to test out the effects of cannabis oil on Nile tilapia to see if cannabis would help the aquatic creatures relax. Instead of making the tilapia chill, it seemed to speed up their metabolism making them want to eat constantly – an expensive habit for a fish farm. Relaxing 9,600 fish raised in a 12X30 foot tank in five feet of water? How about holding less fish in the tank? That might make them feel a bit better.
Can other creatures get stoned? Though not new, a questionable NASA experiment, “Using Spider-Web Patterns To Determine Toxicity,” was published in the 90s, to see how LSD, caffeine, marijuana, benzedrine and sleeping pills affect spider web patterns. Benzedrine caused spiders to zigzag unsteadily while building the spiral part of the web, making it uneven. Spiders fed with small flies loaded with LSD reportedly seemed blissfully concentrated and produced more perfect webs than when in a ‘normal’ state. Spiders on depressants, in resignation forgot to finish their webs. The spiders on marijuana, were able to spiral just fine, but would omit the first part of the spiral, and complete the central part of the web only. The take-away? How did they ever get funding?