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Monsieur Housefly took a breather.

Gabriel Jeroschewitz, August 1st, 2026, inspired and dedicated to, all House flies Hornbys Fire brigade and Tom Waits

 

Monsieur Housefly took a breather.

 

It was in the kitchen where the fire started. There was an orange flame that was exploring the pantry door in the kitchen. Outside the house, the garden was settling into twilight with ladybugs on the rose bushes. Inside the house, the two children in pajamas were on the sofa with a biscuit and a rabbit who had lost an ear in the laundry. Their mother was searching for the cell phone to call the fire brigade while her husband was arriving through the back door with a water bucket.

Amidst this chaotic scene, a house fly named Buzz was hovering over the bedlam. Buzz was keeping watch over the fire, the children, and the mother, who were attempting to extinguish the kitchen fire with nothing but a dishcloth. The wings of Buzz emitted a faint buzz that hovered just beneath the buzzing of a mosquito.

Buzz is a reincarnated insect who came out of the trash can behind the bakery, where he had lived as a maggot. While in the trash can in his pupation phase, Buzz emerged from his cocoon as an insect who had been a man. And reincarnated that defied the sensibilities of humankind. Buzz had a relatively short lifespan, reflecting his weariness of existence.

Buzz had 360-degree see-around eyes, which always allowed him to see the fire from any angle in the kitchen. Buzz had wings that buzzed whenever he flew through the kitchen, creating a cacophony of sounds ranging from the hiss of the culinary flames to the crackle of the fireplace, the kitchen smoke alarm, and the distant siren.

When Buzz was young, he was a larva and did not know of the world outside of his creation. During this stage of his life, Buzz experienced famine due to a lack of food in his pantry, conflicts with other flying insects that inhabited the kitchen year-round, and danger from the ceiling fans that seemed to be on constantly.

Despite the threat of destruction to Buzz during this phase of his life, Buzz had endured. Buzz eventually found himself landing on a trombone at a FIFA game orchestra. During that same game, on a discarded hot dog of Mick Jaggers, he regurgitated the mustard and left it on a FIFA cup. In a Singapore Chinese restaurant, Buzz tasted the eye of a dead fish, a delicacy among the Chinese, yet no one cared about Buzzs opinion on the matter. Finally, Buzz landed upon the clothing of a reincarnated child monk visiting Vancouver and attempted to taste the sweetness on the childs fingertips after the child had consumed a piece of candy.

Buzzs experiences in this house took a tragic turn in a comedic fashion. A fire started in the old wiring behind the refrigerator and began to eat into the house’s furnishings. The children, unaware of the danger of the fire, were having fun and laughing at the idea of the fires flames dancing on the wallpaper in the living room.

A neighbor who came to borrow a half-cup of sugar found themselves in a situation of horror and fascination at the sight of the flames and smoke in the house. Buzz landed on each object of beauty and shit within the neighborhood with the same opportunism.

 With which he approached each object in Buzzs own burning house. The pesky house fly took a breather on each object to reflect on the absurdity of its existence as a creature with limited ability to move and to experience danger in the burning household.

House fly, house fly,

Go to sleep, say goodbye.

No one will weep when you die.

The lyrics to this nursery rhyme seemed appropriate for the insect who was getting no attention from the humans in the house—a somber lullaby for a fly overlooked by all.

The fire burned hotter into the kitchen. The heat distorted the air in the kitchen, transforming the space into an illusion. Buzzs wings, typically a blur of blue-green, flashed red spots in the fires blaze. Buzz hovered over the children, using his proboscis to sip on the tears on their cheeks in the smoky space.

Despite the chaos around him, the insect displayed a form of dignity. Buzz was an adventurous insect who endured the world’s indifference and experienced the full range of human emotions in the span of a life. Buzz had observed the world from within a couch, under a ladybugs wing, and atop a burning match. He had seen the worlds history from his unique perspective, if no one else ever knew of it.

When the fire brigade arrived at the scene of the accident, they worked hard to extinguish the fire. The fire brigade hoses shot torrents of water into the broken kitchen window until the fire was extinguished. And the living room walls were just scorched, but the kitchen was now steam-filled, as if it were a sauna within a surreal dreamworld. Buzz lay upon the kitchen floor, still holding onto the charred spoon. Despite Buzzs efforts to fly out of the kitchen one last time, his wings prevented him from doing so. He fell. The observer saw Buzz fall from the kitchen shelf to the floor. The children, escorted out of the kitchen by the firefighters, passed over Buzz on the floor where he had fallen as they became engrossed in the firefighters and trucks escorting them out of the house.

No one mourned the life of the house fly that perished in the house fire. No one acknowledged the passing of the house fly whose existence was limited to alighting upon cakes, windowsills, and the passing brows of humans. Yet, an unusual elegy emerged in the mind of the individual who watched the house fire destroy all that lay before it.

He thought of the ladybugs stuck on the roses, helpless to escape the disaster befalling their home and destroying their neighbors. He thought of the children who would tell tales of the parents’ and the fire brigade’s bravery, leaving out the insignificant fly that shared in their fears that fateful night.

He thought of the lines from the poem about the house fly: Youve got those 360-degree see-around eyes… Youve got wings so fast, they buzz when you fly… A maggot is what you are in your early cocoon… They probably find flies all the way on the moon… Even weeds dont ever want to die, is it any different for a fly?” These lines, spoken with humor, express the absurdity of a house fly’s existence yet also the remarkably resilient nature of its species.

When the last ember of the fire faded and the firefighters began to gather their equipment, the narrator remained in the midst of the destruction caused by the fire. The smell of the burnt wood and the sweetness of the burnt cake filled the air. He sighed with a half-hearted attempt to clean up his jacket sleeves and contemplated the nonsense of it all.

Despite the destruction of reality that evening, he found humor in the existence of the houseflies that buzzed around the area. Even in the midst of the destruction of the home, a buzz would occasionally fill the air, reminding him of the potential of even the shortest lives to leave a mark on the world.

Colonial Menality

Colonial Mentality

First they came

for the elk.

Then the haven.

Now its AI money

that they’re cravin’.

Poe me,

says the raven.

Never more! 

            Ron Sakolsky

Too Pee, Or Not Too Pee

Too Pee or Not to Pee

It was a Saturday, and waiting to be re-cycled by Mike, I chanced to see an octogenarian lady looking, looking as it turned out for a place to pee.

So, I escorted her to a hidden outhouse which was padlocked to prevent a B&E to pee. For me to pee I would venture into the woods, but this would not do to poo so, a toilet thought occurred and it was directed to ye old school house which might not be barred and within its bowels might possible, contain said toilet. It did!  Although no sign on our farm market grounds informs the people where they might pee – (a pause for a toilet tune) T is for time, O is for overtime, I, is for incontinence, L is for leak, E is for Emergency, T is Too Late!  

I keep seeing signs to keep Denman Weird, but where are the weird porto potties when one needs to urgently urinate? Running is an unnatural act, except to the bathroom, but where to run?

Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization replied, ‘I think it would be a good idea.’ Having recently returned from the civilized nation of Japan where there are lovely lavatories opened everywhere, 24 hours a day, I believe being civilized would be a ‘good idea’. The alternative is we can give up smoking, drinking, sex, rich food and AI and be healthy right up to the time we need to pee!

This disease is not limited to Denman, it is rampart in all of the B&C.          ‘As old age is the only disease you don’t look forward to being cured of’, let us be a forerunner of providing prudent potties inviting us to leisurely partake in the act of relieving us on the seat of ease.  Cheers!

Bob Morley 

Letter to the Editor -Harvey Abramson

trump paper: a new name for toilet paper

In retaliation for the attempt to rename Lake Ontario here is a new

name for toilet paper: trump paper. The name “trump” conveniently

contains the word “rump” as a reminder of what “trump paper” is used

for.

Harvey Abramson

Denman Island, BC

Canada

Phoenix Riting! – September 3rd, 2026

Hi community, its been a minute… Ive had a very busy summer at the market. As often happens over the years, Ive heard comments, received a bit of side-eye, and I have thoughts in the aftermath.

What I do isnt exactly mainstream, I admit. Doing card readings and astrology is the very definition of woo to those who dont understand what it is. Complicate that with the many practitioners who love to play up the woo and act like they are elevated all-knowing seers who know everything about you, who promise to guide you through the maze of occult visionary knowledge that only they can navigate, and its understandable why I am so often side-eyed.

But heres the thing. When I do a reading it isnt about me. I am not a psychic. I dont read peoples minds, auras, pasts or futures. I am barely able to read facial expressions in fact, and its taken many years to puzzle those out. 

I look at the pictures and symbols, and I find a story that weaves them together and makes sense of them. The pictures on the cards, the symbols on the chart tell a lucid and meaningful story. My skill lies in translating that story into words that make sense to you.

Its a process similar to the one behind the creation of a song, or a novel, or a theatre piece. I do it because it is fun, I love it. It is incredibly rewarding to witness and experience the connection that the story makes with my audience of one.

Ive come to believe that the universe and everything in it is composed of intelligence and meaning, just as much as it is matter and energy. I have learned to engage with that intelligence, to tease out meaning and to translate the story. The magic is not in me. Its in everything. Everything is alive, in us, around us, above and below us. Its a living, breathing, interactive universe.

I dont see myself as a fortuneteller. I find the label off-putting. I dont tell fortunes. I tell stories. I am a storyteller. Its not my doing that the stories turn out to be true. I cant take credit for that. I am tapping into a rich vein that has been mined by creatives, mystics and intellectuals since we first began noticing the stars overhead and seeing the living stories that play out among them and noticing the connection to our human relationships and experiences.

My point is, I wont read your mind. I dont know anything about how to find a missing person, or how to speak to your spirit guides, though I could probably make something up and who knows, maybe it would turn out to be true. 

What I offer is validation. The one thing nearly every one of my clients says, in one form or another, is, There are no surprises here. I already knew this.” That is the most surprising thing. We do already know what we need to know. But we dont know that we know it. We have been trained out of trusting our own sense of the world. 

But the world is available, right there, in the random fall of the cards, in the vast ponderous movements of the planets, talking to us, validating what we know about ourselves and our choices. It never fails to astonish me. I do what I do because I love the sense of awe, of meaning, of profound connection to something vast, strange and deeply personal, that cares, that speaks intimately to each soul that quests.

Its something that society tries hard to train us out of. But reality is alive, talking to us all the time, and it wont go away just because we dont believe in it. I love reading for skeptics; they are the most fun. They walk away puzzled, unchanged for the most part, saying variations of, I dont believe in this stuff, but that was exactly right.” And perhaps some of them are given food for thought, enough to open up a crack to wonder, even awe.

Reality is strange, and extremely responsive to consciousness. I believe that what I do is, yes, weird, because the nature of existence is weird. Or maybe it only seems weird because we are trained to believe in some sort of linear, mechanistic illusion of normalthat has no connection to reality.

I find this deeply comforting. 

Thats what I think. What do you think? Email me at phoenixonhornby@gmail.com

Unsedated And Undeterred

Unsedated And Undeterred

Reading by Tim Foley:

The empire shall not dull your kindness.

The cruelty of the bank boys
shall not drain the brightness from your eyes.

You are not like the others.
The dollar-drilled and Pentagon-pilled.
The ones whose youthful rebelliousness
prolapses out their assholes
the second they have a kid
and buy a minivan
and inherit that property in Gentrificationville.
The ones who stop caring
because things didn’t turn out as they’d hoped
and because that protest they went to didn’t work,
and because online leftists are annoying,
and because that mountain of corpses
on their chest at night
keeps getting heavier and heavier.

No.
You shall not turn out like those ones.

You shall retain your tenderness.
Protect it like a baby hummingbird in your hands.

You shall not let them numb you,
as hard as they might try.

You shall feel.
Feel it all.
The awe and elation.
The disappointment and decay.
The stars and the Starlink satellites.
The stunning seagulls in the sunset
and the screams in Sudan.

You shall not deprive yourself
of one second of this treasured existence.

You remain unsedated and undeterred.

You stride through this glorious madhouse
with your chest cave splayed wide open
to the world.

___________________

Caitlin’s Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The best way to make sure you see everything I publish is to get on my free mailing list. My work is entirely reader-supported, so if you enjoyed this piece here are some options where you can toss some money into my tip jar if you want to. Click here for links for my social media, books, merch, and audio/video versions of each article. All my work is free to bootleg and use in any way, shape or form; republish it, translate it, use it on merchandise; whatever you want. All works co-authored with my husband Tim Foley.

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Feature image via Adobe Stock.

Fly Me to the Moon

facebook.com/markprior.images

two Phils

#1749

Farm to Jar Club

Farm to Jar Club

Erika Bland, for Farm to Family

Calling all Community Food Enthusiasts! This summer, we are launching a new community-based food preservation initiative: the Farm to Jar Club! 

Coordinated by wonderful island chef Sophia Katsanikakis, this project focuses on mentorship and community building through food and is being developed as an ongoing collective effort focused on seasonal food preservation, food security, practical skills-sharing, and community resilience. The vision is to bring people together throughout the growing season to preserve local food through activities such as canning, freezing, fermenting, dehydrating, pickling, sauce-making, broth-making, storage preparation, and more.

This initiative is intended to create opportunities for: skill-sharing and intergenerational learning; community preparedness and food security; seasonal workshops and collaborative preservation days; organizing around local food production and storage; and building stronger connections between growers, foragers, cooks, and community members.

A key part of this initiative will be supporting the work of Farm to Family Meals Service Society by helping preserve locally grown and harvested food for use in our meal programs. By organizing preservation work collectively, we hope to make better use of seasonal abundance, reduce food waste, strengthen local food systems, and increase access to nutritious community meals year-round.

A few of us have met and begun developing a seasonal food activities calendar that outlines a plan for possible foods, preservation activities, and priorities throughout the year. Topics and activities include: canning and pressure canning; fermentation and pickling; drying and dehydrating; freezing and storage; wild harvesting and mushroom preservation; batch cooking and meal preparation; planning the harvest; and food safety and preservation practices.

The idea is that people can organize meet-ups and participate when they are able, not necessarily commit to attending every event. For instance, some people will want to pickle things, some will want to make fruit leather, but maybe not both. That’s okay. I hope this can be a community of folks interested in preserving local foods of all kinds, and that we can support one another in doing so.

Farm to Family is currently developing an online community space through the website at www.farmtofamilybc.ca. The goal is to create a shared platform where participants will be able to sign in, communicate with one another, share recipes and preservation resources, coordinate seasonal activities, track projects and inventories, and build an accessible archive of community knowledge over time. We hope this online space will help support ongoing collaboration and make it easier for members to stay connected between preservation days and seasonal gatherings. We would love to see a collaborative recipe book and seasonal food calendar come out of this!

As part of this initiative, we also hope to create opportunities for knowledgeable community members to share food preservation skills through small workshops and demonstrations. We recognize the immense value of lived experience and local knowledge, and we would like to offer small honoraria whenever possible to individuals willing to lead a session, teach a preservation technique, or help mentor others in the community. Our hope is that this project can become a space for both learning and preserving knowledge across generations.

Our first Farm to Jar session was a huge success. We processed around 10 kilos of zucchini into zucchini relish, and made different flavours of sauerkraut. Participants took a small jar home and the rest is in the pantry to be used for Farm to Family Meal programs. Thank you to Judy Armstrong who led the session with her incredible relish recipe and to Lake Farm and everyone who kindly donated zucchinis from their garden. Our next session will be held on Wednesday, September 2nd at 2:30 in the Community Hall kitchen. We will be processing apples and blackberries into apple sauce and pie filling. 

At this stage, we are reaching out to gauge interest, gather ideas, and begin building a core group of participants who would like to help shape the project. Some of us have already begun meeting and brainstorming! If this sounds like something you would like to be involved in, whether occasionally or regularly, we would love to hear from you. Anyone with curiosity around or experience in food preservation, gardening, farming, cooking, foraging, community organizing, or simply an interest in learning and participating, is welcome.

More details about scheduling and seasonal activities will come together as the group develops. For more information, or to express interest in participating, please contact the Farm to Jar Coordinator:

Sophia Katsanikakis, Farm to Family Meals Service Society | f2jcoordinator@gmail.com | 778 585 5698

This project is funded in part by the Government of Canada’s New Horizons for Seniors Program.