Shucking Oysters: Expected Tourists on Road
By Alex Allen
Visitors. Tourists. Citidiots. Tourons. Call them what you will, they have arrived. And before I embark on my tirade, let’s be clear, like everything there are good and bad versions of humanity. Acceptable and unacceptable. Appropriate and inappropriate. Reasonable and unreasonable. Mindful and unmindful. We’ve got them all. And we think we know where we fit in the intelligence spectrum.
It never fails, every summer we read or hear about some blatant example of human ignorance. The amount of wild fires started by idiots is depressing and scary. Every random human being is a walking fire bomb. Illegal camping remains popular. On Canada Day weekend, a large group of people, with canopy and five tents, camped at Kennedy Lake Park. The signage? Day-use only and no overnight camping. A resident returned to the site after two days and cleaned up the garbage. Acceptable or unacceptable? Apparently, a $25,000 fine does not seem to be much of a deterrent from engaging in stupid behaviour.
Over on Hornby, we have our share of the unenlightened. The guy who parked his mega truck at the air hose and car vacuum and then went shopping across the road. The gaggle of conversationalists blocking paths and grocery aisles. The zombie-like individuals, walking erratically, staring at their dumb phones. The woman who pulls out of a side road with no regard for the safety of oncoming traffic. The man who parks his car on the wrong side of the road, idling with his high beams on so oncoming traffic can’t see. The couple who leave their dog in the car for over an hour. This one is far from unenlightened, it is grossly negligent and stupid and you shouldn’t even have a dog. Dogs in hot cars can suffer from potentially fatal heat stroke in as little as 15 minutes, even when a window has been left open or water has been left in the car!
So, what does summer mean to you? Going to the beach day after day? Endless parties and BBQs? Mojitas and other smart cocktails? Does summer wrap its arms around you like a warm and soft blanket? Or maybe you suffer from Tourist Syndrome, a condition of the nervous system that causes involuntary tics. Not sure? The tics can be physical or vocal. Some examples of physical tics include raising eyebrows, shrugging the shoulders, or jerking a middle finger. Examples of vocal tics can be humming, clearing the throat loudly, or yelling out a word or phrase. Sound familiar? It affects those more severely who work on the front lines and need to get from A to B.
The sounds of summer have arrived in my neighbourhood. It’s like our house was suddenly dropped into the middle of a provincial campground. Everything happens in the great outdoors – twenty-four-hour-games, music and hoots – except, we can’t go to the campground hosts and ask them to tell campsite 23 to keep it down.
And the bicyclists. I feel like I’m in Zandvoort. Like the paddle board, every second person (both locals and visitors alike) has an Ebike. Don’t get me wrong, this is great. But with the influx of more visitors, the more bikes the more safety issues. Riding in the middle of the road seems to be the only option. No one uses the bike trails. Are tree roots or pine cones really that scary?
Gone are the two cyclists riding side-by-side enthusing loudly about salsa macha, and how it’s the perfect accompaniment to roasted vegetables. Visitors seem to prefer to ride in clumps of six or more. As a seasoned driver, I can tell you that it is easier to go around one or two bikes than a group of seven, with a dog on leash and three kids in trailers. And then the random cyclist, like a deer, that suddenly appears out of nowhere. If there is one tourist, there may be another following. The signs should read “Expect Tourists on the Road” not deer.
If I have sounded harsh, or somewhat intolerant of tourists, you’ve misunderstood my intentions. As I keep on saying, would you rather have four or 20 individuals turn up at your front door? Yes, it’s our bread and butter, but it doesn’t have to be 12 loaves of Wonder Bread and 36 pounds of butter. It’s not just the carrying capacity of the island, it’s the carrying capacity of those who live here. Do we want to preserve the rural character of Hornby Island? To protect the reason why people want to come and visit? As Edward Espe Brown asked in his Zen teachings, “If there’s an uneven, rocky road, do you want to cover the whole path with leather, or do you want to put the leather on your feet?”
Are human beings inherently good? Are we built with an internal moral compass, or is morality entirely the result of socialization? Is the value of a human being based on the sum of their actions, or do they have value no matter the actions they take? At what point do your actions give your life less value? So many existential questions and so little time to ponder. Maybe we should just answer the other questions: Is there a liquor store? Are these today’s newspapers? How do I get to the beach? Is this coffee fresh?
