Shucking Oysters: Secret Pleasure Palaces
By Alex Allen
Have you tried to stop watching online and failed? Did you notice severe withdrawal symptoms? Do you experience intense cravings when you have no access for several days? Is viewing the images and videos the most exciting thing in your life? You may very well be an addict. Full disclosure, I’ve been an addict for over ten years. It’s insidious, one day, you’re innocently dipping your toes in the shallow end and the next day, you’re up to your eyeballs in the deep end.
I’m talking porn. Real estate porn. There’s a lot of us secretly cruising real estate listings online, at all hours, whether we actually plan to buy a home or not. And yes, it does feel good. In a world where technology is at our fingertips and curiosity knows no bounds, the allure of real estate porn, from castles to private islands, seems to be an ever-present temptation. Our digital landscape is teeming with sensual distractions. From accidental stumbles into Engel and Völkers to regular visits to Castleist, there’s a surprising number of individuals indulging in real estate porn.
The largest real estate website, Zillow, had 57 million visitors in 2023. For comparison, the world’s top three porn sites, Pornhub, XVideos, and XNXX, had a combined total of over 5.81 billion site visits PER MONTH. Today, Zillow’s net worth (revenue primarily from selling leads to real estate agents) is an astounding $15.35B. While Montreal-based Pornhub, acquired by an Ottawa private equity firm, Ethical Capital Partners in 2023, was worth only $1.5Bin 2021. For the curious, Ethical Capital Partners is led by cannabis entrepreneur Rocco Meliambro, criminal lawyer Fady Mansour, and Derek Ogden, a retired chief superintendent of the RCMP.
These staggering statistics not only reveal the voracious appetite for real estate porn but also raises questions about the priorities and values of our society. Perhaps, behind the numbers lies a deeper reflection of human desires and the intricacies of a secret world that continues to thrive in the shadows.
As Nicole Johnson admitted, “With websites such as Realtor, Zillow, Trulia, and Redfin, I can zip from a Miami penthouse to a mountain retreat in Vail without even leaving my own abode.”
An Omnis survey showed that Zillow porn provides the perfect digital escape. This isn’t an occasional escape – 44% of survey respondents spent time on Zillow weekly, and for 12% it’s a daily habit. The average amount of time spent looking at properties is two hours, and 17% spend even longer salivating over European villas and California ranches. According to PornHub, an average site visit lasts only 10 minutes. Fun fact: Americans in Wyoming spend the longest average amount of time – 11 minutes and 3 seconds. (Of course, people can visit more than once a day, so chronic users do rack up the hours.)
Sixty percent of respondents like to Zillow surf in bed before they go to sleep. Oddly, 8% said they Zillow surf in the car (hopefully, not behind the wheel). Naturally, a lot of people also do it at work (61%), and 23% admitted they’d been caught looking at real estate listings by their managers. The downside, real estate porn could also be destroying your relationship, as 28% say they have ignored a partner while on Zillow, and 26% have turned down “intimacy or sex” in favour of Zillow.
Why has online house-hunting morphed into a role play activity? “My take is that people want to experience vicariously what they doubt they may ever have,” says Edie Weinstein, a licensed social worker in Pennsylvania. She says it’s the same reason people watch home renovation, decor, and DIY shows.
When we browse property websites, we’re engaging in “a form of escapism that taps into the brain’s reward systems,” says Louisa Dunbar, the founder of OrangeGrove, a UK research agency that uses behavioural science to improve business websites. “Visualizing ourselves in these desirable homes triggers the dopamine system, giving us a sense of pleasure, even if we’re not planning to buy. It’s a chance to mentally step into a better life.” Nicole Johnson explained, “unlike actual home ownership, your dose of dopamine isn’t followed by the existential nausea of staring down a 30-year mortgage.”
As with any addiction we need to do a wellness check every now and then. Is my indulgence in real estate porn doing more harm than good? What’s my motivation for property scrolling? Am I unhappy with some aspect of my own life? Am I trying to compare myself to others? Why does that 56-acre property on the West Coast, with stunning timbers, giant ferns, and sandy beaches, give me shivers? Why am I lusting over a charming 19th-century country house on the edge of a French village hamlet? Is it wrong to be drooling over detached studios and saunas?
So next time you’re wondering what everyone’s up to online, just remember, there’s a good chance that many are getting very aroused on real estate porn, with unadulterated pleasure.
