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Courtenay
Thursday, February 6, 2025

Cowboy Corner: A Visit to the Doctor

I finally had to succumb to the pain in my shoulder. It just became unbearable. I tried all these home remedies and nothing worked. At first I figured I strained it by lifting something really heavy. Then I thought that maybe I had some sort of repetitive motion disorder brought upon by several years of something I have no recollection of doing. So I decided to go to a Doctor to figure out the problem. I walked into her Office and the first thing she said was, “Hello! And what seems to be the trouble today?”. So I briefly explained my symptoms and then she interrupted and said, “Well, first of all, you’ve got an arrow sticking out of you. How long have you been walking around like this? It’s a miracle that you’re alive”. Then I looked down and realized she was right. So I gave her twelve dollars because that was all the money I had on me at the time and went home and drank which I will readily admit was quite a bit more beer than I should have and then had a smoke or two and decided the logical course of action was to pull the offending projectile out with a pair of vice grips. It worked, but I would not recommend this procedure at all. However, if you do, you will need to take a 12 or 16 gauge shotgun shell, insert a knife into the top portion between the folded edges, carefully bend the flaps back, empty out the pellets, then pry out the paper wad below with the same knife, then pour the gunpowder into the wound, and light. This procedure will cauterize the area and decrease the likelihood of infection. Oh, and don’t attempt this near an open jug of kerosene. I learned that the hard way.

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