Shucking Oysters: Au Naturel

June 13, 2024

I’m not big on hanging out (as it were) naked on a public beach or privately in the backyard. I have nothing against naturalists, it’s just not my thing. When it comes to nudity, we all have our barometers of tolerance. And when it comes to the law, from Canada to the US, the definitions alone, raise more than an eyebrow.

According to the Canadian Criminal Code section 174, no one can be nude, without lawful excuse, in a public space or on private property(whether it’s your own property or not), while exposed to public view. Some examples could be: being nude while going for a walk along MacFarlane or in a public place such as the Co-op; standing naked staring out your living room window or on your lawn where the public can see you. It’s all about maintaining public order, decency, and morality.

As one legal website opined, “It aims to protect the sensibilities of people who may find nudity offensive or threatening in public spaces. It is also meant to safeguard the privacy and sanctity of private spaces from being disturbed by individuals who may be exhibiting inappropriate behaviour.” It does raise questions, however, around civil liberties and fundamental rights. Many see this law as encroaching on their privacy, especially when applied to their own home or private garden. “Without lawful excuse” is vague and left to interpretation in the courts. For example, rehearsing a naked rendition of Swan Lake in your backyard is not a criminal offence but a nude version of Waiting for Godot could be.

So what is nudity? According to the Criminal Code, a person is nude when they are “so clad as to offend against public decency or public order.” Not “scantily clad” just “clad.” In other words, you can be “nude” without being fully naked if you are dressed in a way that causes harm or potential harm to the public. Do I hear overweight people in spandex? One legal website explained that how we perceive nudity “depends on societal values, which are always changing.” What about Little Tribune on Hornby? Is that illegal? A BC judge eloquently noted that “nude sunbathing is not of sufficient moral turpitude to support a charge for doing an indecent act.” Designating a beach or other recreational area as “clothing optional” is recognizing that being nude for swimming and sunbathing is not always indecent or lewd (just the pervert in the bushes).

Canada’s definition of nudity is positively quaint compared to the US, which is far more explicit. In Brevard County, Florida, nude means to openly display or expose: “(1) The human male or female genitals or pubic area with less than a fully opaque covering; (2) Any portion of the anal cleft or cleavage of the male or female buttocks. Attire which is insufficient to comply with this requirement includes, but is not limited to, G-strings, T-back bathing suits, thong bikinis, dental floss or any other clothing or covering that does not completely and opaquely cover the anal cleft or cleavage of the male or female buttocks; (3) The portion of the human female breast directly or laterally below a point immediately above the top of the areola with less than a fully opaque covering. This definition shall include the entire lower portion of the human female breast, including the areola and nipple, but shall not include any portion of the cleavage of the human female breast exhibited by a dress, blouse, shirt leotard, bathing suit or other clothing, provided the areola is not exposed; or (4) Human male genitals in a discernibly turgid state, even if completely and opaquely covered. For purposes of this definition, body paint, body dye, a tattoo, latex or any similar substances shall not be considered an opaque covering.”

The buttocks can be confusing. Is that a crack or a cleavage? Brevard County’s definition leaves nothing to the imagination: “The area at the rear of the human body (sometimes referred to as the glutaeus maximus) which lies between two imaginary straight lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top such line being 1/2 inch below the top of the vertical cleavage of the nates (ie, the prominence formed by the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom such line being 1/2 inch above the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshy protuberance (sometimes referred to as the gluteal fold), and between two imaginary straight lines, one on each side of the body (the “outside lines”), which outside lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and which perpendicular outside lines pass through the outermost point(s) at which each nate meets the outer side of each leg. Notwithstanding the above, Buttocks shall not include the leg, the hamstring muscle below the gluteal fold, the tensor fasciae lathe muscle or any of the above-described portion of the human body that is between either (i) the left inside perpendicular line and the left outside perpendicular line or (ii) the right inside perpendicular line and the right outside perpendicular line. For the purpose of the previous sentence the left inside perpendicular line shall be an imaginary straight line on the left side of the anus (i) that is perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and (ii) that is 1/3 of the distance from the anus to the left outside line, and the right inside perpendicular line shall be an imaginary straight line on the right side of the anus (i) that is perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above and (ii) that is 1/3 of the distance from the anus to the right outside line. (The above description can generally be described as covering 1/3 of the buttocks centered over the cleavage for the length of the cleavage.)”

Well, that helped. I used to be an ass man, but now all I see is fleshy protuberances and vertical cleavages.

Mediative Approaches to Enhancing Group Effectiveness

June 13, 2024

All groups are going to encounter differences. Often the most vocal, the most senior, the most powerful, will override those with less agency; people may then accommodate, avoid raising their disagreement, and over time, even leave the group. It is healthy and normal to have disagreement; group processes offer people opportunity to work creatively with difference.

Leaders with a facilitative (meaning “to make easy”) style generally are able to seize opportunities to influence in a positive way, to engage creative thinking and to encourage agreement reaching, aided by their position and authority. To enhance the group’s effectiveness, leaders may also incorporate aspects of integrative and restorative approaches that mediators employ. Those who aren’t leaders in a group, but want to assist in the group’s functioning, can do the same. We often rely on the leader/chair/president of an organization to create and sustain good process; groups can function much more effectively if others in the group participate in not just what the group does, but how it does it.

The rights-based orientation of our adversarial justice system has a long history in Western culture, and an established place in managing conflict. It has serious limits if rights are the only basis upon which decisions are made. Mediators use interest-and-values-based approaches to minimize the adversarial nature of conflicts and promote consensual agreement-making.

Indigenous wisdom has taught the use restorative approaches to deal with harms in a non- punitive way. Rights–based approaches are only used as a fallback, not as a foundation.

Benefits of mediative approaches include increased buy-in, greater creativity and preservation of relationships. What aspects of these approaches can be useful for group members engaged with conflict?

Here are a few ideas gleaned from my time facilitating, mediating and teaching collaborative approaches:

Setting context: A group’s work cannot be only about today’s agenda; it exists in a larger context which needs to be recognized. Pay attention to your language. What is it your group is here to do? What are the barriers to accomplishing those goals? Try to state these in a positive way. The emotional/psychological environment matters in these settings. Attending to details is important; at the same time, people can get lost in them and lose sight of the overarching goal(s). Others fear closure – leaving something critical out, not having enough information, enough data, enough time, losing social connection if goals are met and the group disbands, and so on. This is why context has to be “reset” time and again within a group. Use language that focusses upon the group’s mission/purpose, working together, common ground, and heading toward problem-solving.

Process focus: Recognize that good faith engagement and attention to process increase opportunities for settlement of some or all of the issues. Modelling a respectful environment, helping craft a process that has integrity, ensuring everyone involved has a chance to be heard – these practices satisfy procedural and many of the psychological and emotional interests that people don’t disclose. Too often we rely only on the “what” of a

task, not the “how” or “why” of it. How something is decided can be just as important as what is decided. We’ve all seen good decisions/agreements get sabotaged because they were not made with the inclusion and involvement of necessary stakeholders. Enduring and wise solutions follow good process! This doesn’t mean full consensus is always needed, but rather an exploration of what the group means by consensus: how is it going to make its decisions? If the group is stuck and seemingly at an impasse, any member of the group can suggest a move away from content for the moment and a focus on process. Asking: “How are we doing process-wise?” “What are we missing?” can open a discussion that may well undo the stuckness.

Integrative orientation: Think in terms of what is really going on, what matters, how to deal with the issues, what still needs to be addressed to reach agreement. Watch out for language such as “whether/or not”, and “either/or”. That language is reductionist and distributional; it narrows the range of possibilities. Mediative approaches try to expand possibilities and resources. Group members themselves tend to know best what resources are available and what potential outcomes are most promising. Don’t be afraid to consider a whole range of ideas for problem-solving and to keep options open until the best solutions emerge. An idea that seems impractical or even crazy can lead to another idea that has promise. Think of problem-solving in terms of building agreement, piece by piece. An integrative orientation says “yes, and…” instead of “yes, but…”. This tiny shift in language invites disparate ideas rather than shutting down nascent ones with the eraser-like “but”. Ask questions instead: What more can you say about that? How do you see that working? What else can we do? What ideas do others have that could build on that? Integrative approaches energize and build engagement. Distributional ones can divide the group into camps, invite competition (winners & losers), limit imagination and reduce commitment to the group. Make sure your group members want to be in it!

(Next week: Part 3)

Green Wizardries: A Shift

June 13, 2024

Yesterday, I saw my first ladybug of the year. They used to be quite plentiful in my gardens and just around generally. We have two tree frogs in our flower garden. We would normally have about fifteen of them easily visible in the same garden a few years ago. The rough-skinned newts used to appear in their hundreds when they were migrating to ponds in the spring and in the late summer when the hatchlings would leave the ponds and migrate to the woods. I used to spend a lot of time picking them up off the road to protect them from cars. I rarely see these newts anymore.

We are also having many fewer bees and pollinating insects in the gardens. This is not due to any change in the way we manage the gardens. We try to have something blooming throughout the season and we provide shelter and water for the pollinators. Something else is causing the decline in insects. I believe it is mostly agricultural chemicals, (used by other people) but also our irresponsible use of cell towers and other forms of radio-frequency radiation are probably another form of attack on insects.

Insects are enormously important at many jobs that keep the ecosystem functioning. They are the base of the food web for many birds, and mammals. They pollinate our crops.

We have experienced a drastic fall in the number of bats on our farm. When we came here, 16 years ago, the night sky was dazzling with bats. We would sit out in the bath on our porch and the insects, particularly mosquitoes, would smell us as a tasty snack and fly around us. The bats would skim in just over our heads and hoover them up. Our last bath on the porch, we had one mosquito and saw four bats flying high, heading west. It is simple, no insects, no bats. All these things taken together suggest to me that we have crossed a threshold where the consequences of our collective stupidity and hubris are catching up with us.

One of the oddest things I have seen this spring is a lot of infertile seeds. Some of them were from the big seed companies and I do not have a lot of faith in such seeds. I think they are sometimes many years old and they just keep putting them out for sale. This spring, a lot of my friends were also seeing infertile seeds. These were from very good local seed companies that I had dealt with before and always found their seeds to be of a very high standard. A lot of their seeds were also infertile but what really surprised me is that some of my own fresh seed grown last year was also mysteriously infertile.

We have all been having trouble getting squash seeds to germinate. I planted 6 pots of one variety of zucchini and only one sprouted. Out of twelve seeds, only one sprouted! A friend planted thirty pots of winter squash an only a few came up. I planted 6 pots of a winter squash from Veseys Seeds and only one seed sprouted. Again, the pots were planted with two seeds to a pot.

I was just out working near a patch of Jerusalem broad beans and they are in full flower and the day is warm and sunny. I would normally expect to see lots of pollinators hard at work but there was not a single one on the bean blossoms.

The question is, what can we do about this? I believe the best that we can do is to support the few insects we have left by planting flowers they can use to feed on the nectar and pollen. I bought a big packet of alyssum seeds and am planting them around the edges of ever vegetable bed where they can fit. I am tucking calendula plants in between the cauliflowers, broccoli and cabbage. I leave the opium poppies to grow in the garden wherever I can. I have also planted out a lot of bachelor’s buttons because the tiny parasitic wasps drink nectar from their leaf joins even when there are no blooms.

I have a lot of cosmos daisies, calendulas and German chamomile planted in beds outside in my yard where the deer can get at them. They are blooming nicely and I harvest the chamomile flowers for tea and to use in making medicines and cosmetics. So far, the deer have not eaten any of those flowers. The deer are also uninterested in the beds of chocolate mint and lemon balm so these very useful herbs can be grown by everyone, not just people with a high-fenced garden.

It is also important to put out saucers of water, filled with pebbles so the small insects can land and have a drink. Other than that, maybe we should all consider using less of everything because almost everything humans do is polluting. So for a holiday, going camping at a nearby lake might be a better choice for the Living Earth than flying to foreign parts.

Letter to the Editor – Chris Seguin

June 13, 2024

Re: In God knows how many words or more! (June 6th Grapevine)

I will never forgive nor will I ever forget, period.

Retribution not reconciliation.

Chris Seguin

Chicken escape

June 13, 2024

Guess who ELSE is coming to Denman?

June 6, 2024

Yves Engler is an unafraid truth-teller about the darker side of our beloved Canada. We sorely need this kind of researcher/author/activist in our midst because we are awash in propaganda painting our nation in only a positive, peacekeeping light. How many of us know for example, that our Canadian military has the biggest public relations apparatus in Canada? According to Yves, (30^th May, 2022) Embassy Magazine in 2016 put it at 661 employees in 50 offices across Canada! Their job of course is to promote our military & military expenditures. Now, we could task our military with a true “defense only” mandate, and put them to work with civil defense, coast guard, repurposing bases to the service of climate crisis, remediation of our contaminated sites, and much more. But instead, we continue to hitch it to the service of empire, first the British empire, now the US. This toadying to imperialism is cloaked under the guise of NATO, which was established in 1949 to “keep the Soviet Union out, the Americans in, and the Germans down” (1^st NATO Secretary General, Lord Hastings Lionel Ismay). NATO has from the start been run by a US military officer, with a European administrative Head. (That’s one reason why Chrystia Freedland’s bid to be head of NATO failed.) It is only recently that people have begun to question our blind adherence to NATO and its expansion. Yves has been on it for quite awhile now. He has dedicated his keen mind to uncovering and exposing our idealized bubble surrounding the Canadian military’s real role in the world, and while uncomfortable to learn, it seems to me essential that we DO learn about it.

The Canadian Foreign Policy Institute was founded by Yves, Bianca Mugyenyi and other progressives in 2020. Its mandate is to bridge the gap between government policy and public perception. Among other functions, it hosts webinars featuring experts on various aspects of Canadian foreign policy, which are always thought-provoking and challenge the status quo. Let’s face it; the status quo is no longer working all that well. We’re moving at a glacial pace to combat the climate crisis and we are speedily increasing tensions with China. Further, the West has reignited the “cold war” with Russia, arguably through NATO’s unnecessary provocations on the Russian border. The Ukraine War, which people now realize is a civil war, a Russia- Ukraine war, and most of all, a US proxy war with Russia, the US having stated on the record that its goal is to “weaken Russia”. Sadly it drags on, with Ukrainians doing the sacrificing and suffering. The horrific Gaza genocide is 8 months in, yet could end tomorrow if the US stopped supplying Israel its massive weaponry and the West ended its shameful complicity.

The US has lost stature worldwide for its aggression and destabilization of so many countries. The Institute for Economics & Peace publishes the annual Global Peace Index, which measures the state of peace across 3 domains:

Level of societal safety and security
Extent of ongoing domestic and international conflict
Degree of militarization.

The US ranks 131 out of 163 countries in the 2023 Index. (Canada ranks 11^th.) Do we really aspire to have the same global reputation as our neighbour to the south? How well is it serving us to be part of the problem globally, as NATO has become? We need to examine and challenge our government’s plan for a $73B increase in military spending in the next 20 years. (April 8,’24

report to Parliament: “Our North, Strong & Free: A Renewed Vision for Canada’s Defense”) After all, our military spending is already up 49% since 2014 (Stockholm International Peace Research Institute – SIPRI). Have taxpayers’ wages increased that much? Hmmm.

In his weekly Canadian Foreign Policy Hour zoom meetings, Yves tackles such controversial issues as Canadian mining interests abroad, Canada’s role in keeping Haiti down, our government’s complicity with Israel, and CRA’s charitable status for organizations supporting illegal Israeli settlements & recruitment for Israel’s army (illegal in Canada). These and much more. Yves is also a radical “disrupter”, meaning that he challenges current political leaders in public forums, by asking them very hard questions. Some of these video’d events are hilarious. He rattles the complacency of leadership, and his verbal confronting may not be the preferred approach of everyone, but he certainly gets their attention and international media coverage to boot!

Though relatively young, he has published 11 painstakingly-researched books, from 2005’s “Playing Left Wing” to “Stand on Guard for Whom? A People’s History of the Canadian Military”, about which I have written previously. He is now embarking on a speaking tour for his latest, co-written with Owen Schalk: “Canada’s Long Fight Against Democracy”.

And the great news is that he is coming to Denman to give a talk on June 10^th Noon, Back Hall: “Unveiling Canada’s Complicity in Palestinian Genocide”, sponsored by Denman4Palestine. I’ve heard Yves speak live in Nanaimo, on his last book tour, and I am really sorry I’ll be away for this one so close to home. He is a fearless thinker and an engaging speaker. I urge you to go see, listen, question and learn for yourself!

Shucking Oysters: Houston, we have a problem

June 6, 2024

Shucking Oysters: Houston, we have a problem

By Alex Allen

You may have noticed that space exploration is no longer an arena for the inquisitive and the courageous. Like the ocean, outer space is poised to be commodified in the interests of personal economic gain with shades of benevolence. Driven by private corporations such as Elon Musk’s SpaceX and Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origins, we are entering a new era of the space capitalist, geared towards generating profits from satellite launches, space tourism, and asteroid mining, to name a few.

As Victor L. Shammas and Tomas B. Holen wrote in One Giant Leap for Capitalistkind: Private Enterprise in Outer Space, “Neil Armstrong’s famous statement will have to be reformulated: space will not be the site of ‘one giant leap for mankind,’ but rather one giant leap for capitalistkind.” These space capitalists are “forging a new political-economic regime in space…aimed at profit maximization and the apparent minimization of government interference.”

In 2018, a New Zealand start-up, Rocket Lab, launched thousands of miniature satellites as well as a giant, shining ‘Humanity Star’ into orbit around Earth. The geodesic sphere, made from carbon fibre with 65 highly reflective panels, mimicked a disco ball, reflecting sunlight back to Earth. Many astronomers expressed outrage at these plans. But, as Shammas and Holen, noted, “while these astronomers were incensed by the idea of a bright geodesic object disrupting their ability to carry out observations, concerns with the effects of the arrival of capitalistkind on their ability to collect data were non-existent.” Bob King warned on the Sky &Telescope website that “it won’t be long before there’s enough momentum for everyone from breweries to real estate companies to advertise their products and services with a ‘bright light’ in the sky.”

Another private venture group, Moon Express, has the vague mission: “to redefine possible by returning to the Moon and unlocking its mysteries and resources for the benefit of humanity.” The moon is “a new frontier for humanity with precious resources that can bring enormous benefits to life on Earth and our future in space.” And that’s not all, with hints of creepiness they add, “Not long from now a new generation will look up and see lights on the Moon, and know that they are part of a multi-world species.”

Even though no one is actively mining the moon right now, there are companies in Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Finland, Norway, Germany, Luxembourg, Belgium, Canada, the US, the UK, China, Thailand, India, Mexico, Peru, New Zealand, Australia, and Greece, all working on space mining technologies. Beyond asteroid mining, as an example, Meraki Space Systems, a private US military contractor, will later expand into the construction of “agriculture domes, hotels and settlements.”

A new World Economic Forum report released in April reveals that the global space economy will grow from $630 billion in 2023 to $1.8 trillion by 2035. Until 2035, the report acknowledges, with not a hint of transparency, that “most of the space tourism revenues will come from in-orbit stays aboard space stations as ultra-high-net-worth customers purchase their space travel experience.” Interestingly, you have to look long and hard for any mention of mining in the report. It appears in a table and twice, both as footnotes in four point type. In the “State-sponsored civil” section, “the moon could spur innovations in space habitation, mining and laboratories in its unique environment” and later in the all-encompassing industry category of “Other,” mining coyly appears with space tourism and in-space manufacturing.

Of course, behind every space venture looms a thick web of government spending programs, regulatory agencies, public infrastructure, and universities financed by industry research grants. SpaceX would not exist were it not for its government-sponsored contracts. Evan Briscoe wrote that these “launches highlight an interesting dichotomy that is beginning to emerge in space exploration, as we see highly trained scientists and researchers juxtaposed with high paying billionaires, each boarding the same rockets and jettisoning into space. One group for research, another for recreation.”

SpaceX is developing a massive rocket that will launch 1.25-ton satellites, adding to a fleet of 5,500 Starlink satellites already in space, part of a planned constellation of 42,000. It will soon be joined by Amazon’s Project Kuiper constellation, followed by others jumping on the broad-bandwagon. According to a 2023 study in Ecological Economics, low-Earth orbit can only hold about 72,000 satellites without the risk of a Kessler syndrome event. This phenomenon happens when space collisions produce so much junk that the Earth’s orbit becomes unusable for any human activity. Space junk includes rocket bodies, explosions of satellites, dead satellites, and even tools lost by astronauts.

What we don’t hear much about is the effect on the environment. A study last October showed that the stratosphere is already littered with metals from re-entering spacecraft. When researchers began analyzing the data, they found high levels of particles like niobium and hafnium, chemicals that are only used in rocket boosters.

Satellites could eventually total one million, requiring an even greater number of space launches creating even more emissions. Another study published in 2022 found that if the rate of rocket launches increased by a factor of 10, their emissions could cause temperatures in parts of the stratosphere to rise as much as 2 degrees Celsius. This could begin to compromise the ozone over most of North America, all of Europe and a chunk of Asia. Those of us who live in higher latitudes in the Northern Hemisphere will be exposed to even more harmful ultraviolet radiation without our consent. For space regulators across the globe, pollution or exploitation is not a concern, profit is. Like everything capitalists touch, by the time we figure out the consequences it will probably be too late.

Building a Team – Easier with a Blueprint

June 6, 2024

Building a Team – Easier with a Blueprint Sally Campbell

Of the many tools and models I’ve relied upon during my years of assisting groups to learn to work in collaborative ways, the Tuckman Model is right up there as one of the most useful. It’s actually a summary of team-building studies created by Bruce Tuckman in 1965. Here in simplified form are the 5 phases of the model. Groups don’t necessarily flow through them in a linear way, but in my experience no group reaches a level of performing without struggling through the storming phase. (It can really help to be able to say: “Oh, we’re in our storming phase!”) And it’s not just pertinent to groups, committees, and boards. As a mediator often working in the difficult arena of separation & divorce, I found that couples splitting up were, for the most part, stuck in the storming phase; they had never learned how to address the inevitable conflict that arises when two souls meet in an intimate relationship and decide to stay together over time. Learning how to navigate storming often gives people the tools and the glue they need to build a long-term partnership.

It also helps to recognize that moving through one phase to another doesn’t mean there won’t be a revisiting of a previous phase later on. Being able to name which phase the group or the couple is immersed in at any given time helps to normalize a dynamic relationship, build team and lessen tension. These are the stages of the Tuckman Model:

FORMING

This is the “getting acquainted”, orientation stage.
People are on polite behaviour with formalities observed.
They are trying to find out if they can commit to the group, its goals and objectives, or to this person they’re interested in.
The questions are: can they be accepted by the group or by this person? And might they want to make that commitment themselves?
Fear, safety and trust are the key issues they are working on.
This is a time of foundation setting, a lovely, lively and hopeful time of beginnings, as well as uncertainty.

STORMING

This is when differences start to become apparent.
Agenda issues emerge: What is this group trying to achieve and how? Do I belong in this group? What is this person like and what are priorities for this person?
Will I be able to advance my own goals and objectives with this group/person?
There is a critical need to clarify differing viewpoints and build understanding during this phase.
It is important to recognize and normalize differences. The idea that difference is more than ok, it’s actually valuable, is useful during this phase.
Safety and trust are key issues. Do I feel safe enough to speak honestly with this group/person? Can I trust them to be the same way with me?
Critical point: a competitive environment indicates storming, even though it all may be very polite. Some groups/couples never work through this phase and they

neither function very well nor build capacity. When a crisis hits, they have no foundation to fall back upon and the relationship collapses.

The primary goal of this phase is the need to engage with & manage conflict.
Exploring separate and shared values, what they mean to the group, to the other, and expressing your own values, builds trust and necessary common ground.

NORMING

The group begins to develop and form a team identity. Two people begin to identify as a couple. “We” language starts to emerge.
Power and resources are more easily shared.
Delegation of tasks is possible. A shared way of operating starts to unfold.
Rapport and trust levels build. Tensions lessen.
Individual differences are respected, valued and encouraged.
An atmosphere of cooperation and involvement develops, and people can feel it.

PERFORMING

At this stage the group reaches its peak, achieves its goals.
Team identity is strong.
There is more informality, less need for structure.
There is more delegation because of trust.
There is high productivity.
At this time, there’s a need to sustain momentum, pay attention to process, and not take this level of performing for granted.

ADJOURNING

The group completes its task, mandate, term.
This is a time for evaluation of process and accomplishments. For couples, it could be a time of looking back, revisiting their journey together, recommitting after a difficult passage, marking the end of a period in their joint lives. Only extremely rarely are both members of a couple emotionally ready to engage in “adjourning” at the time of a separation. It may come years later though, sometimes decades later.
This phase, added in 1977 with Mary Ann Jensen, involves acknowledgement and recognition. Rituals, ceremonies, appreciations – gatherings to mark the group’s successes, next phases, completion of its work, possible legacy, are important and often neglected. It’s called mourning in some texts, and reminds us that endings shape beginnings.
This is a time of closure; ritual/ceremony/making meaning of the time together and the work done help complete that task.

“These phases are necessary and inevitable in order for a team to grow, face up to challenges, tackle problems, find solutions, plan work, and deliver results.” Bruce Tuckman.

(Next week: Enhancing Group Work, Part 2)

Green Wizardries: A Second Step

June 6, 2024

In this little series, we are talking about ways to thrive in lean times. Lots of people claim that the only way to do this is to live within your means. I disagree. I think the best way to thrive is to live below your means.

Living within your means can mean spending all the money you make but not more. While living below your means is a habit of spending less than you make every month. It is a happy feeling when you have an unexpected car repair or need dental treatment to know that you have lots of money to deal with such a problem.

When I was young, I had a debit card and would go to the bank and put it in the slot and get money out. I never really knew how much money I had and I never had a plan for saving any of it. That is what having credit cards and debit cards is meant to do to you.

It is also far easier to pull out your card and tap it for a purchase than it is to pull out a crisp red bill and see it vanish from your life forever. For those of you who do not know what cash looks like, a red bill is fifty dollars.

One of the best ways of developing a conscious relationship with money is to spend only cash. I learned this in Lancashire, England from people who grew up in the Great Depression. They had a system where money coming into the family was divided into envelopes. So much would go in the rent or mortgage envelope, so much to groceries, so much to buy clothes and shoes and on until, at the end, the husband would receive a little cash for beer and tobacco. When any of the envelopes was empty, they stopped buying that category. If a man ran out of beer and tobacco money before the next wage packet, he stopped smoking and drinking for a few days.

To give an example of how that worked in practice, my friends wanted a new car. The wife ran the numbers every which way but they could not afford the car. The husband said, “What if I give up smoking?” His wife did the math and said, “Yes, if you give up smoking, we can afford the car.” He quit cold turkey and never once mentioned his struggle with that very potent addiction.

One couple we are friendly with was having money troubles. We offered to teach them this simple way to manage their money and explained that their situation could be rectified by a single year of lean living. The husband said, “I want what I want when I want it.” So we dropped the subject and they lost their house.

Another couple did want to learn the method of envelopes. They had lots of money but had bitter and disruptive fights over money frequently. Once we explained the envelopes to them, they reached a fair division of money into electronic envelopes and decided how much each person got as spending money each month. The fights stopped at once. They were very successful at budgeting, or rather the wife was but the husband was happy with the outcome as he could spend his whole allowance on his sail boat with never a harsh word from his wife.

Once a person has their money under conscious control, they may have a lean year or two while they build up savings but the lean years can still be fun. Walking, swimming, biking and picnicking are all almost free. Having the family and friends play board games or do a jigsaw puzzle (available for free from the Free Store) is a pleasant way of spending time with loved ones. When you finish the puzzle, take it back to the Free Store and exchange it for a new one. Also lots of great books can be had at the Free Store, the Denman Community Library and the Public Library.

Getting together with friends and family to do art projects is fun and inexpensive. Does anyone remember the oracle cards we used to make at the Arts Denman House as a free art project?

Snacks for such occasions do not have to be purchased. Try popping popcorn and see how fast your family shows up for a share. Baking cookies with kids is an entertainment and an educational process for them.

By the time your couple of lean years are over, you will be really good at living below your means.

A friend suggested that another good step is to create a 4X8 garden bed and grow some lettuce, peas and carrots. He said once people find out how easy it is to grow great food, there will be no stopping them.

Letter to the Editor – Perri Gorrara

June 6, 2024

“In God knows how many Words or more!” By Perri Gorrara

This mini diatribe is written in response to Bill Engleson’s pronouncement in The Flagstone, and I quote:

“Recently, and not for the first time, a Facebook note urged our community to heal. While a noble aim, I have doubts about whether we can. Covid drew a line in the sand. Our community, those who either cared to express an opinion, one way or the other and/ or opted to mask/vaccinate or not, fashioned a divide. These divisions were significant.”

He continues his pronouncement by applauding DIRCON (Denman Island COVID-19 Response Coordination Network) and closes his mini-polemic with the following statement:

“Of course, there were other forces working in an opposite direction. They are still festering.”

Those “other forces” that are “festering” are working hard to build community and support the most vulnerable on both Hornby and Denman Island. They socialize and discuss the state of Canadian and world society on a regular basis. They have developed a network in which they help and support each other in practical and emotional ways. The “line in the sand” is becoming evermore blurred as more islanders engage with these “other forces” to create hope, support and wellbeing within our communities. Where are you in all this, Mr Engleson? Maybe you should attend a gathering and explore ways in which you can help to heal our communities rather than hurling salt into the COVID wound.

In closing, I must, once again, thank The Islands Grapevine for continuing to embrace all sides of every discussion and Mike, for standing strong and true through all the storms that have come the way of The Grapevine.. Carpe Diem.