Shucking Oysters: Nasty Entitled Canadians
By Alex Allen
We are spoiled. Nasty. Difficult to deal with. The irony is rich given who’s pointing the finger. As one UK writer shared: “Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace.” There have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. And with that, last week Canada received yet another virtual hug from Big Donald: 50% tariffs on over $28 billion of Canadian goods. Instead of kissing his Lard Ass, Canada flipped its middle finger and left the negotiation table.
In a press conference over the weekend, Prime Minister Carney described the negotiations as a war: “They asked too much and they offered too little … you’re at war when you’re attacked and we got attacked.” On Fox News, US Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy called Canada “a country that doesn’t have a military” and said it was taking advantage of America. “To think that they are going to go to war with Donald Trump and actually win that war with the US, I think it’s foolish on their part.” Carney will match Washington’s tariffs dollar-for-dollar beginning next month, targeting sectors such as steel, dairy, appliances, agricultural equipment, pulp and paper and electronics.
In reaction, knuckle-brained fart lozenge posted his usual rant: “Canada wants the benefits of being a State, without being one!!!” It’s true that the US announced tariffs against dozens more countries, but there is something weird about the lopsided vitriol directed to Canada. Most of the global tariffs Trump recently announced were around 10%, Canada 50%. The tariffs also land differently here, given Trump’s obsession with making Canada the 51st state.
The US not only challenged our French language culture and packaging, they wanted to restrict our freedom to make trade agreements with other countries without their approval. Spoiled? Difficult to deal with? What utter BS. Carney has rightly called this beyond unacceptable and an infringement on our Canadian sovereignty.
Terry Winnitoy of EnergyNow, wrote that Trump did Canada one enormous favour, “he made complacency impossible.” He added that history may one day show that his tariffs, threats, trade disruptions and “blunt America-first agenda did something Canadian politicians, business leaders and voters had avoided for decades: he forced Canada to look in the mirror.”
Winnitoy warned that when “Washington’s trade policy can change with a speech, a post, an election or a negotiating tactic, Canada cannot build its future on the hope that one customer will always behave predictably.” Trump has exposed the hard truth. Canada’s problem has never been a lack of resources. It has been a lack of resolve.
The onion-eyed flap dragon goes on about Canada’s trade surplus with the United States, which he keeps saying is $200 billion a year – NOT, it’s actually less than a third that size. Trump appears to believe that he doesn’t need anything from Canada. Not the automobile manufacturers who rely on Canadian parts, not the farmers who rely on potash, not the Midwest oil refineries that rely on Canadian oil, not the builders who rely on Canadian lumber, not the households that rely on Canadian electricity.
With no surprise, when the most recent round of tariffs was announced, most of the economic damage landed on Ontario, Quebec and British Columbia – the three provinces that have the strongest anti-Trump sentiments. The economies of Alberta and Saskatchewan were relatively unscathed.
Here in BC, items under tariff threat represent more than 13% of our total exports to the US, higher than any other province. Stats show that 51% of our exports last year went to the US, more than half wood, pulp and paper, metallic minerals and energy products. Meanwhile in Ontario, Premier Doug Ford, said he was willing to cut off electricity and critical minerals to the US.
No doubt in response to Ford’s passion, Trump then announced he would add 50% tariffs January 1 to all vehicles, auto parts and steel from Canada. The Nod Off Father lashed out at Canada, accusing us – with no evidence – as being “among the worst nations in the world to deal with.” We’re “entitled.” Save us from our Canadian sins, Lord Rump.
After saying Trump could “kiss my ass” over the weekend, Ford and Trump exchanged blows at the beginning of the week, with Trump referring to the premier as “Flunky Ford” and calling both Ford and Carney “clowns” and bad leaders. Ford responded: “He’s the type of guy in school that would take your lunch money one day, take your toque off your head the next day and then steal your running shoes.”
The Toddler-in-Chief has constantly complained that dealing with us Canadians is unpleasant and nasty. Well, expect us to get even nastier, because whether he knows it or not, he’s left us with little options. The economic impacts remain to be seen, especially given Trump’s history of changing tariffs on a whim.
Prime Minister Carney did what Canadians elected him to do: stand up for Canada. As Stephen Marche wrote, “It’s funny to wake up relieved that you’re about to take a beating.”
