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Sunday, March 8, 2026

Shucking Oysters: Pitbull or Retriever?

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Shucking Oysters: Pitbull or Golden Retriever 

By Alex Allen

He destroyed a 20-point lead going into the last federal election. He was defeated in his own Ottawa riding and had to be safely shuttled to one of the safest ridings in Alberta. Three of his MPs ceremoniously defected across the floor or out the parliament door. Most Canadians dont like his personality. And yet, Pierre Poilievre just won his Conservative leadership review – with an overwhelming majority. 

Its a clear mandate from the party membership, but Pierres future with the rest of Canada remains murky. The absence of any heir apparent and a seemingly chill caucus obviously helped him secure the title. Unfortunately, as UBC Political Science professor, Stewart Prest, noted, Poilievre is the most successful unsuccessful leader in Canadian politics.” As someone said, if Poilievre doesnt show Canadians a more thoughtful, introspective side, he may end up being one of Canadas longest running opposition leaders who never becomes prime minister. He has more of a chance of becoming the Governor of Alberta. 

His support within the party remains quite strong, and he himself has revitalized the party around his brand of conservatism,” said Amanda Galbraith, co-founder of the Toronto-based Oyster Group, a strategic communications and crisis management firm. Poilievre has doggedly kept the pressure on key issues – like axing the tax and rolling back immigration – which seems to have paid off for the Carney government. The strong endorsement of Pierres leadership means a continuation of the status quo, Prest wrote: a country that has come together on a question of existential importance, but an opposition leader who divides, repelling more than he attracts.”

Poilievre doesnt do many media interviews and you can see why. Like Trump, he views mainstream media as the enemy. His interviews are selective and infrequent. We all remember the famous interview of him chomping distractedly on an apple while dissing the interviewer in Oliver, BC. Smug. Arrogant. Then the year-end interview with Rosemary Barton on CBC – which he has threatened to defund – clearly showed that Pierre takes zero responsibility for losing the election or for members leaving the party. Every question Barton asked was straightforward. Reasonable, even. And every answer Poilievre gave, as someone wrote on Redditt veered off like a shopping cart with one broken wheel, straight into another round of accusations about Mark Carneys government.”

Pierre has many titles: flaccid human being,” “maple Trump,” “chronic complainer,” “incompetent conservative twit,” “Dollar shop Donald,” “twerp,” “paperboy grifter.”  The list goes on. Hes a pathetically fragile and insecure man who thinks power will make him feel validated.” “The man is an albatross.” “Dudes got about as much self-reflection as a ball of mud.” And for someone so young, he seems so old school (even without the glasses). I can see him as a child, like the ultra-conservative, Reagan-worshipping young Republican Alex Keaton in a suit and tie on the 80s TV show Family Ties. 

At the leadership review Poilievres speech was telling. He quoted the words of neo-liberal Ronald Reagan. In fact, Pierres speech was a love letter to Reagan. In his first inaugural address as president, Reagan famously condensed the rising conservative sentiment with the memorable phrase: Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem.” Its about getting rid of government as well for Poilievre. The people need the government off their backs, out of their way. Business will get ahead by having the best product, not the best lobbyist. By pleasing customers, not pleasing politicians.” With his forced frozen smile, he declared that if he were to start a new political party it would be called the Mind Your Own Damn Business Party.” Not just business, the federal government needs to butt out of the affairs of Albertans and Quebecers and other Canadians” as well. 

On the world front, Canada must make new friends, honour our alliances, and do our part on resources, trade, diplomacy, foreign aid, and everything else, though its clear we must prioritize our own national interest above all else.” This is rich, given what he said after Carneys now-famous Davos speech: So far, Mr. Carney has been lucky that hes been judged by his rhetoric and his stated intentions, by the number of his trips and meetings overseas. Because nearly a year into his term, the rhetoric has changed, but reality has not. There is an illusion of purpose, but no results to back it up.” 

Channelling the Department of War Pete Hegseth, our forces will be guided by a warrior culture.” Channelling Homeland Security Kristi Noem: We will deport criminals, end fraud, end abuse and handouts to phony refugees. We will no longer allow foreign conflicts to spill onto our streets.” Foreign conflicts on our streets? Whats he talking about? Domestic terrorists? He has said everything is broken in this country right now,” suggesting it was better before. Trump offered a similar appeal in making America great” again. As Noah Fry wrote: Nostalgia, as a political tactic, often requires erasure.” Both Poilievres and Trumps brand of nostalgia takes aim at marginalized groups, rearing its ugly head in anti-immigration policy.

Channelling the US administration, Poilievre will protect the freedoms of law-abiding people with a new castle law” that allows one to shoot anybody who enters their property. The Liberals want to protect turkeys from hunters. We want to protect Canadians from criminals.” On religious freedom. We will stop the Liberals from censoring politically incorrect Bible verses. You will have the ability to worship God in your own way.” Channelling the Mayor of Minneapolis: We never back down. We never run away.” He reminded delegates that the best part of being Conservatives is that eventually everyone admits that we were right all along.” More like right-wing all along.  

Pierre Poilievre shared his theme of the leadership convention: hope. So hang on, have hope. Help is on the way.” As Michael Harris wrote in the Tyee, the only hope hell need is to persuade Canadians that attack dogs can morph into statesmen.”  

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