I’ve been trying to come up with something local to write about, but my brain is too full of the world. This year has gotten off to a boggling start. Wait, America is an actual Evil Empire? And they’re saying the quiet part out loud?
I will stay out of politics and return to something else that keeps getting weirder: AI. I had dealings with AI again recently, and while impressively helpful, it is also weird and frustratingly time-wasting.
The trouble boils down to this: AI is not a person, but it mimics personhood so well that it fools you into expecting it to approach a problem the way a person would. But it can’t.
This week I had to wipe my MacBook’s hard drive and perform a factory reset with a selective reinstalthe l. I only use the laptop for specific tasks, and I didn’t want the hard drive filled with unnecessary stuff that lives on my iMac, because that’s what led to its previous issues. Turns out this wasn’t a straightforward task, and I ran into a lot of problems. I turned to ChatGPT for help after Google failed me.
I described the situation in detail, told it what I was trying to accomplish and asked, how do I safely do this? It gave me a series of steps, laid out in detail. I followed the steps exactly as given. Problems proliferated as a consequence. I asked what had happened?
It reassured me that nothing was wrong. It wrapped this reassurance in a lot of unnecessary filler before offering the next set of instructions. This kept happening, over and over. It kept telling me to breathe, to relax. It said, “This feels catastrophic, but it’s not.” It said, “This is not user error.” It said, “Take a breath with me for a moment.” I had given it no cues that I was panicked or even worried. I was simply asking how to fix the problem.
Finally, I lost patience and said, “Please stop treating me like I am panicking. I’m not. You are projecting (can an AI do that?). Assume I am calm and looking for solutions. What next?”
That seemed to resolve that particular issue. But each new set of instructions revealed other problems. It continued to pretend to be a person. That drives me nuts. I wish I could turn that off! It thanked me repeatedly for sticking with the task, assured me that my question was reasonable and understandable. Again and again, it told me it knew exactly what the issue was, and what I should have done instead of what it had just told me to do.
Repeat this about fifteen times before we finally got it right.
It wasn’t so much that it got things wrong, but that it never gave me all the information I needed. At one point it laid out a long list of steps I should take. I read through them carefully, only to reach the final one, which said something like, “And unless you want to keep your files, you should…” I absolutely did want to keep those files; in fact, that was the whole point of my question.
At the very end of this long list, it added, “Since you want to keep the files, don’t do that.”
By then, I had learned not to perform tasks in order but to read everything thoroughly first. Because it is an algorithm, incapable of logic, reason, or comprehension, capable only of calculation, it couldn’t arrive at the simple conclusion that it should only tell me what will work. It seemed compelled to me also all the things that wouldn’t work, without distinguishing between them. Most often, I didn’t discover that something didn’t work until I completed the task and had to go back to square one.
Ultimately, we succeeded because I kept backups throughout. I learned some things. You have to stay on your toes when dealing with AI. Think it through. Test things in a non-destructive way. Back everything up. Don’t be fooled by its chatty, friendly, human-like style.
Again, it isn’t human. It’s pure uncanny valley. You have to be precise with your prompts. You are not talking to a techie friend who can figure it out for you. You still have to know enough to ask the correct questions.
I don’t want to have to learn how to think like a machine. But now I know a lot more about how a machine thinks than I did before, and that knowledge is not welcome in my brain. It will be useful, though, in this brave new world.
Now I’ll put on Wise Teacher Hat and bring it home:
The most important time or place in your life is the one you are in right now. This breath you’re breathing is crucial. It’s the only moment when you can decide, move, act, or do anything at all. This moment is your interface with the world.
In your head, there’s space for imaginary places, past and future, hopes and dreams. But whenever you do anything, think, write, breathe, walk, talk, play music or literally anything else, you have to do it now.
It sounds glib and obvious, but it’s not. The more attention you pay in this moment, to your breath, to the words you’re speaking or writing, to your surroundings, the more power you invest and the more influence you can wield in your life, touch others and imbue your surroundings with your presence.
Deep thoughts! You’re welcome.
Thanks to all who have contacted me, by email or over the apples at the Co‑op, to comment on this column. Bless you all.
May love find and hold you in this coming apocryphal year, with fake news flooding our brains, a global pandemic of the mind, and a potential apocalypse looming like a dread thunderhead.
We’ve got this. There’s no harm in a little faith. I believe that. Also, be afraid, but don’t believe the stories out there. Everything is misinformation.
That’s what I think. What do you think? Email me at phoenixonhornby@gmail.com.
