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Saturday, October 11, 2025

Shucking Oysters: Exit Stage Right

Not too sure who Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s handlers are lately, but the optics are not looking good. Since finance minister Chrystia Freeland was so ungraciously demoted, followed by her not-so-quiet resignation at the end of December, Trudeau has said little publicly. And now, along with most Canadians, members of his inner circle are calling on him to resign. 

With his background as a night club bouncer, part-time drama teacher and snow board instructor, playing the role of prime minister is simply too great a leap for someone with Justin’s range. Or, should we say, lack of range. He only has one tone of voice and one facial expression. Even his socks have more charisma. Brian Lilley wrote that while the world stage has become a much more dangerous and serious place over the past few years, “Trudeau is still playing sock diplomacy.” For Justin, “it’s always about performative politics and virtue signalling.”

No matter how hard he may try, Justin never had his father’s talent for brilliant bon mots or clever retorts. He’s not even remotely playful, unless you call wearing a blackface and turban funny. Père Pierre even made flipping the finger look cool. With the air-head apparent, everything Justin says and does seems like a contrived act, in robotic Disney Prince mode. 

Justin Trudeau is desperate to be loved. But beware of his dark side. If you “fail to reflect back to him his narcissistic projections,” by holding a different opinion, or acting independently, you are a traitor. Jodie and Chrystia, in particular, have seen his insecure colours, and no doubt, his ex-wife, Sophie, was stifled for years.  

For power players like questionable Klaus Schwab of the World Economic Forum, Trudeau’s hollowness has great value. Justin is impressionable and a few strategic strokes to his ego will give even more control to the wrong powers-that-be. How an under-qualified individual like Justin Trudeau became prime minister — and stayed there — is the stuff of unprecedented political folly, as someone said. Other world leaders have wondered as well. If he’s not putting his socked foot in his mouth, he’s being socked in the mouth.

One guy in particular is relishing in his taunts, from demoting Trudeau to governor to making Canada the 51st state, and even suggesting that Wayne Gretsky take over leadership. Former Bank of Canada governor Mark Carney, who was poised to replace Freeland as finance minister, was among the first to publicly condemn the repeated jabs, saying Trump’s remarks about “Governor Justin Trudeau” were “carrying the ‘joke’ too far.” 

Carleton University professor Aaron Ettinger, who studied Canada-US relations during the first Trump presidency said, “These are taunts; these are churlish provocations that are not mature, and do not reflect just how serious the coming trade war is.” 

“We know his moves. He makes fun of, he belittles, he mocks, because he can,” Ettinger said. But he said that a vacuum of leadership in Ottawa from an embattled prime minister is spurring “the freelancing of some of the provincial leaders” in response to Trump’s comments.

Word on the Ottawa streets is that Trudeau will not stay on to lead the Liberals in the next election. A non-confidence motion is in the wings and when the House of Commons returns at the end of January it will probably pass and bring on an immediate election in the spring. With NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh announcing days after Freeland quit cabinet that he is now ready to vote down the government, Trudeau’s departure seems imminent. 

What would Justin’s legacy be? Wearing cool socks? Unlike his father, Justin does not have many options upon leaving the stage of politics. After his retirement, Pierre joined a Montreal law firm, remained active in international affairs, and released his  “Memoirs,” one of the most successful Canadian books ever published.  

When Justin steps down, it doesn’t seem likely that he will follow the usual trajectory of a retired prime minister. Can you see him providing strategic advice to corporate clients on managing global geopolitical risks or becoming a high-profile public speaker? Even having a comfy board of director position would be more symbolic than strategic. So, what’s the badly-chosen-one to do? Mark’s Work Wearhouse model? CHEKTV news anchor? Or, he could always follow the marketing genius of his McRibbing cousin down south. 

Trump has long delighted in finding new ways to market his name, creating a HUGE merchandise empire that includes pricey gold TRUMP sneakers and autographed TRUMP Bibles. Want to intimidate the gang at the gym? How about an exclusive gold TRUMP crested pickle ball paddle for $180?

The Trudeau Corporation, already exists — a leader in housewares, since 1889 — but Justin could call his venture simply, the Trudeau Empire. Socks of course, would be the signature brand. Star Wars socks. Red maple leaf socks. Rainbow striped socks. Black face socks. And a Sunny Ways clothing line, featuring $250 slim fitting white jeans and $175 dress shirts with permanent rolled up sleeves.

And not to be TRUMPed, he could also launch his own fragrance line at $199 a bottle. For the women, “Thrown Under the Bus” with diesel notes that give the perfume a distinctly masculine edge without being overpowering. For the men, “Dream On,” a cologne that has a long-lasting narcissistic fragrance, with a hint of fruity delusion. 

At the national Liberal caucus holiday party, Trudeau did obliquely speak to his handling of the Freeland scenario: “It hasn’t been easy, and that’s why I’m so happy to see you guys. Like most families, sometimes we have fights around the holidays. But of course, like most families, we find our way through it.” 

Yes, Justin, nothing screams family dysfunction like awkwardly smiling your way through another happy holiday.  

— With files from The Canadian Press and The Washington Post.

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