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Monday, December 2, 2024

Shucking Oysters: A Hornby Dystopia

Hornby Island, synonymous with being the summer playground for the rich and famous, is an affluent island featuring seemingly endless beaches, quaint historic buildings, gorgeous wineries, cute farm stands, and high-end art galleries. 

For some visitors, Hornby Island is a place to inhale the fresh sea air before blowing off steam, shelling out $1,500 for a daybed on Big Tribune Bay, or vying for an on-air cameo by dining at Sea Breeze Resort during the shooting of the upcoming season of (just begging for a typo) “Hornby Housewives.”

But, for many residents, the island is hallowed ground, existentially worlds away from the cacophonous urban centres of Vancouver, Victoria and beyond. This is why Hornby Islander’s have never allowed their bucolic enclave to be accessed by anything greater than a two-lane road. 

So, when the owners of the Vancouver private night spot, Mansion, which has played host to Christie Clark, Ryan Reynolds and Pat Corbett-Labatt, mayor of Port Hardy, announced its intention to take over the Hornby Island Resort, the news unleashed a major backlash. For one, it’s a particularly spiritual area on Hornby, just a stone’s throw from the ferry and seaplane terminal and across from the Lambert Channel Convention Centre. 

Just up the road, the historic campsite, Bradsadsland, was purchased by business magnate, Jim Pattison. Today, it boasts a Five Jib Restaurant with lounge, a grocery complex, hotel, and an EV car dealership. “We pick the clientele for the restaurant and lounge,’’ said Pattison Group spokesman, Colton Conille. “Our doormen choose by the way they dress. We don’t want people coming in the evening wearing shorts. We want to bring back elegance.’’

Fashion-wise, many new stores have opened in the Hornby Village Mall, including LA based Grey/Vin, the British royal favourite ME&ME; and the classic tailored brand Veronica, loved by Justin Bieber and Kevin Falcon.

Los Angeles fashion line Liberaltine is doing an activation this season at charming Swanky Fibres, where Oscar de la Buya has just co-opted the third floor, and Josie Osbourne and Gwen Stefani have been known to pop in. You can find everything from a couture dress to beautifully curated hostess baskets.

Ford Cove, another centre of activity, boasts a 200-slip marina village, shopping, dining, and hotel. Partnering with Stonedboat Vineyards and Summerhaze Winery they offer Jazz nights under cabanas with ever-flowing bubbly. 

The Galleon Beach neighbourhood has become more desirable lately, particularly with the new Hornby Island Canoe and Kayak Club at Grassy Point. Beyond canoes and kayaks, the Club rents out Seabobs, Electric Surfboards, Fliteboard Hydrofoils, and Jetskis. Down the road, tucked in at Hidden Beach, the Salish Oyster Bar, is famous for their Salish Caesar, made with Islands Spirits distillery vodka, Hornby Island hot sauce, farm fresh horseradish, Hornby cocktail sauce, and topped with a Phipps raw oyster.

Little Tribune Bay Estates and Marina, is not just for big boy toys. You can rent a 12-foot Sunchill Floating Lily Pad or Floating Carpet Pad for the day, which are perfect for entertaining guests or spending quality time with friends and family in the middle of the bay.

This season, Sea Breeze, a family-run boutique hotel on 13 acres, recently launched Summer Breeze Spa, where you can indulge yourself in the ultimate “Hornby Nirvana,” a full-body exfoliation with Cortes Island sea salt and Lasquiti karma oil, a lymph-system deep pate rub to “open” your body before the Sandpiper Stone massage, followed by a full body wrap with Komas black clay. It all ends with an application of nettle lotion, at which point you may very well have reached a state of Hornby nirvana.

Getting to Hornby has always been a challenge, but Brazen, which offers speedy seaplanes and helicopters to dodge the ferry traffic, also offers a more leisurely route by luxury motor coaches from Victoria, Nanaimo, and Comox. Not only roomier, they are also outfitted with cashmere blankets, motion-cancelling reclining seats, curated dopp kits and a fully stocked bar. Morning riders will be served breakfast courtesy of Sizzle, the juggernaut backed by Constance Schwartz Torbid and Stevie Nickie. Best of all, you can bring your pups.

Dogs are notoriously spoiled on Hornby. Indulge your pooch with swimming lessons and massages courtesy of Morgan Jerow in Sandpiper; a doggie truffle menu at Pop Up Bistro Chien Chaud at Whaling Station, and even regular “Yappy Hours” around the neighbourhoods. This summer, mobile vet, Dr. Sasha Bressler, is opening a dog sanctuary, Wag Wellness Centre and Pet Boutique in the Strachan Valley, providing red hydrant therapy and sound baths for the canine set.

Wellness is big on Hornby for humans, too. Salon Ronaldo Louis at Ford Cove, a favourite of Sonya Fursteneau, Lisa LaFlamme and Justin Beiber, has added lymphatic drainage and microcurrent facials; and a new spot called Blue Sea Spa has opened on Anderson Drive, offering such slimming techniques as Cryo T-Shock therapy, the Icoone machine and fat analysis.

Not to be outdone, a major wellness club, opened up in High Salal. With an initiation fee of $45,000 and a lifetime fee of $350,000, the HI Life Club, has social aspects, like its annual spot prawn champagne kickoff party. It also offers sports, such as pickleball and lawn bowling, as well as cold plunges and decompression chambers.

Beyond the glamour, Hornby is a quaint island beach community overflowing with hospitality and charm. T+L positively gushed: “with its wild, natural spaces as well as its pockets of urban charm Hornby is a top global destination.”

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