Shucking Oysters: Sound Baths
By Alex Allen
I don’t know about you, but I moved to a small, rural island to get away from the city, the constant, frenetic hamster-in-a-wheel existence. Everyone in a hurry to get nowhere, as my mother used to say. And the noise. The constant noise. Looking for peace and tranquility, I moved to Hornby. Sadly, it can be just as noisy as the city.
For over a year now, I rarely have had a day without hearing a chainsaw in my neighbourhood. I feel like I live in the middle of a commercial wood lot. Everyday. Sometimes all day. (And I’m not talking about the incessant arborists.) And on some days we have the chainsaw duet. These aren’t artists carving wood sculptures. In fact, I don’t know what they’re cutting anymore (on the small rural residential lots), let alone what’s left to cut.
Think about this, for an average human conversation, the volume level is 50dB, a diesel truck 85dB, and the neighbour’s chainsaw 120dB (same as an AC/DC concert). Sounds 120dB and above cause instantaneous harm, as in, noise pollution. Studies have proven that people living with noise pollution can feel irritable, on edge, frustrated, or angry. In fact, if a person feels they cannot control the amount of noise in their environment, its impact on their mental health intensifies. Well, that explains everything.
And we’re not just driving one another crazy with the daily noise that fills most of our neighbourhoods. It’s smothering the ability of the wildlife to communicate with one another. Writer and naturalist, Nancy Lawson, reminds us, that they are our neighbours too. “And they can’t just run inside and put on noise-cancelling headphones.” [Which I am now wearing indoors because the chainsaw just started its proverbial day.] A 2020 California Polytechnic State University study showed [to idiots] that birds living in rural forests tend to be more sensitive to noise than birds in open urban environments. Human noise influences their reproductive success and stress hormones, changes their patterns of predation pressure and seed dispersal and affects pollination by hummingbirds.
Noise even has a lasting effect on trees and plants. Another study by scientists at the same university, revealed that human noise pollution affects the diversity of plant life in an ecosystem, even after the noise has been removed. So, how does exposure to natural sound benefit human health? Rachel Buxton, a professor at Carleton University in Ottawa, found that bird sounds helped alleviate stress and annoyance. And water sounds enhanced positive emotions like tranquility, awareness, and relaxation. Back to the neighbourhood. Chainsawing every day. Cocktail hour. Dinner time. Long weekends. Short of having a warm and fuzzy heart-to-heart with Mr. Chainsaw Massacre, or moving out of the neighbourhood, my options are limited.
I did find a few possible solutions. I could soundproof the windows by rearranging the furniture a little. The couch, mattress, bookshelves are all thick enough to dampen the noise a bit. [Make sure you talk to your significant other before doing this, they wonder of your well-being.] But what about outside? One site recommended building a stream or a fountain to counter background noise. More like a raging river and a very large fountain. I did a bit of research, and a life-size replica of the Trevi Fountain in Rome, just might actually drown out the noise in my neighbourhood.
For the passive-aggressive grudge holders, here’s a different kind of solution. Schedule your loudest chores for when your neighbour is home and all is quiet. Extra points if you own a chainsaw, leaf blower or wood chipper. I don’t own any of the above, however, I do have access to over 10 hours of chainsawing recordings and a loud speaker. Instead of harbouring nefarious thoughts of redemption, for therapy, I am currently working on a screenplay, “The Massacre of the Chainsaws.” It’s about four couples, home sharing for two weeks on a small island and next door Mr Chainsaw…
How about a No Power Tool day? Maybe Sundays. For the birds and the bees and the trees. And some of us “naturalists” — one with nature but not naked. Can you imagine? It’s like during the pandemic, when no one was flying anywhere. Studies showed how happy the ecosystems were worldwide during those two years. Is that too much of an ask? The Constances, the Do-alotties, the Incessants, are you able to just chill? Not weed whack your back yard for three days? Think for a moment whether that tree really has to come down.
And special note to Mr. Chainsaw Massacre, as Jack Handey wrote, if trees could scream, would you be so cavalier about cutting them down? You might not, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. And now into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.
