24 Beers and a Half Bottle of Whiskey

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April 2nd, 2007

Boredom in jail is quite the drain on one’s sanity. There’s but few things to help keep it at bay. 

Napping, which I seldom do. 

Watching TV, which I do even less. 

Playing pool, but I’m tired of racking all the time for Hank and his superior game. Smoking, but it can strain one’s rations leading to stress worse than the boredom itself.

Ah, reading the newspaper! That’s what I’ll do. A nice leisurely perusal of the current affairs. Mmm. 

Global warming doom. 

Unsanctioned and truly offensive wars. 

Politicians glad handing in hopes of winning elections and fat pensions. 

Media propagandizing as per its want.

Oh wait! What’s this?: 

‘KILLER DRUNK GETS TWO YEARS HOUSE ARREST’. 

FREDERICTON:  A New Brunswick man who drank 24 beers before he got behind the wheel of his car and killed a cyclist, has been sentenced to two years of house arrest. Peter Leon Howe, 42, had earlier pleaded guilty to impaired driving causing death and leaving the scene of an accident. The court heard that on July 15th, 2006, Leon drank a full case of beer and half a bottle of whisky at a party, then refused an offer to stay at the relatives house in Fredericton. 

Like I said, boredom can be a difficult aspect of jail life. I certainly ought to know given I was incarcerated for gardening plants. Plants that give forth medicine to people in need. It’s all the harder to contend with such boredom to learn that had I killed some poor, unsuspecting cyclist, I perchance might be at home in my own bed! Victimless crimes warrant jail time where crimes that leave victims in their wake only seem to warrant conditional sentences. 

Evidently the young women preyed upon by Tom Ellison and now this nameless dead cyclist were just a little too victimized to warrant stiffer consequences for their perpetrators. But come on. Let’s be real! Those young girls were probably just ‘asking’ to be molested given how they carry on and present themselves. Just look at them. Such teases! 

And this cyclist? Just what the hell were they thinking playing chicken with a man who, by all outward appearance, contributes far more to the government coffers by drinking the heavily taxed liquor then dutifully doing his part to support the petrochemical industry and the taxes it generates. ‘Lance Deadweight,’ on the other hand was probably an anti oil left winger. Some Green Party supporter who doesn’t smoke, drink or even play lotto! What good is that? This person, and I do use the term loosely, is better off dead for the lack of tax money they’ve forfeited to the system. Kind of fitting the one thing they forfeited in their worthless life was their spleen upon death. Good riddance health nut. Look where it got you! 

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, ‘boredom.’ Fuck, jail is boring!