Should I or Shouldn’t I

March 27th, 2007

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

This morning as I was leaving for the day’s work Furry asked me if I could leave behind  with him my journal. This journal. He was instructed by the on-duty C.O. that upon checking out, the staff up at ‘Records’ would be able to make a copy of the passage I wrote of him. Once done, I was told that it would be returned by 6:00 pm this evening. To say I was reluctant would be an understatement. I twice looked to the on-duty C.O. for assurances that it wouldn’t go mysteriously missing. This journal means everything to me. As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to think that it’s the whole reason that I’m here. The information I’m compiling in these pages, though at points meandering and at other points lacking substance, is proving to be an irreplaceable account of jail house life. With as close to a guarantee as I could get in such circumstance, I complied. Upon my return at day’s end my journal was sitting on my bed along with a note from the Fur Dog. It seems that contrary to what he was told, they wouldn’t allow for the copies to be made for him. Instead he left me details on where to send him a copy myself. Something I’ll have to write out for him in a letter. In his parting note he signed off, ”You made me think different of peaple (misspelled and scrubbed out).. humans. Dog out, woof, woof.  P.S. Find your place to piss in the doghouse! Peace out.“

Last night, I pondered whether to include Furry in what has become a custom for me. Writing a send off passage in honour of those departing. I certainly had my reasons not to. It is not as though we were close by any means. But in the interest of being complete, the interest of rendering as full a texture of my experience here and not disregarding my observances of Sean’s contribution to this place, I chose otherwise. And for that, this was rewarded. I’m glad I made the decision I did.